Thanksgiving… For me personally, the word Thanksgiving speaks to the evolution of my life. There was a day when Thanksgiving was merely a holiday break from school or a day where I could relax and have great food with friends or family. However, the word Thanksgiving now speaks to me as not just a secular holiday but an opportunity to make giving to others and giving thanks a daily event in my life. After all, kindness, thoughtfulness and consideration are all by-products of heartfelt thanksgiving. The actual day of “Thanksgiving” will serve as a reminder to me that I need to be thankful in all things… and that means every day of the year!
The challenging part of finding thankfulness in “all” things is that not all things at the time seem like something I should be giving thanks for. For example, it sounds funny to me to say Thank you God for that unexpected car problem I suffered last week. Instead, I say thank you God for providing the means and allowing me to have the opportunity to cultivate relationships with people that can help me get that pesky little car problem taken care of.
In a different vein, the holiday can be a difficult time if you are in a season of loss, sickness, financial hardship or transition in your life. When we have lost someone special in our life whether it’s due to divorce or death, the holiday season can be a painful reminder of how terrible you are feeling instead of bringing warmth, love, and excitement. The holidays are especially significant because they are familiar signs of tradition and memories. They seem to have a way of filling our memories with warm glimpses of good times shared with the people we have loved during our lives. Transitions are never easy, and there may well be days when all you want to do is hit the rewind button and put everything back to the way it was before. I have been through these difficult times and I can see it definitely involves taking little baby steps in order to adapt. I felt like the holidays would never be like I remembered them, but with a little patience, understanding and flexibility, I have learned to make the holidays hopeful again and even more wonderful than before… and for that reason alone, I am especially thankful.
I have found that successful and joyous people are usually very skilled at counting their blessings. They focus on what’s right about their life instead of what’s wrong. I'm thankful that God has given me the strength to meet the challenges that come with life. I’m thankful for each memory that my family and friends have given me. I’m thankful for having a profound understanding that it is more important to give than to receive. Theologian W.T. Purkiser said, “It is not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them is the true measure of thanksgiving. I am beyond thankful for having such wonderful and rewarding work during a time when many are not working. I am so thankful for my family, particularly my beautiful daughter, Taylor who keeps me laughing…and sometimes crying as she both spreads her wings and tests herself in this crazy world we live in. I am also so blessed and thankful for the wonderful circle of friends that make my life fun and meaningful.
This is the perfect time to pause and remember the intangibles that make this life so worth living, and to reconnect and find peace and warmth in that feeling of gratitude. For, as long as we are drawing breath, there is a genuine opportunity to GIVE…and to give THANKS!
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Thursday, October 1, 2009
"WEIGHTY ISSUES"
Ahhh…it feels so good to just sit down and be still and finally write. The past couple of months have been stressful, crazy, difficult and full of spiritual warfare. But at the same time there have been many blessings along the way as well. Blessings included a wonderful weekend with my beautiful daughter Taylor, a trip south to see my best friend Erin get married on the beach at sunset, a very awesome trip to Monterrey Mexico with the Back2Back staff, and friends just looking out for me in general.
This past week in particular, I have been giving much thought to what it means to walk in the light of Christ as a believer. In the past it was my nature to beat myself up when I sinned, fell away from Christ for a period of time, or just struggled with whether or not he was listening to me. This morning as I was spending some quite time just talking to God, I really felt like God was reminding me that there are definitely three voices and they all talk at the same time at various moments in my life. Those voices are my own, God’s and Satan’s. It was in that moment that I was reminded that I am a Christ follower. I have already accepted the gift of grace. I have already been forgiven for every nasty deed I have done or will do. I don’t have to beat myself up any longer. God already did that for me when he allowed his son to be nailed to that cross where so many other sinners like myself had gone before Him. In that moment at approximately 5:30 a.m. this morning, I felt like a heavy rock that was pinning me down had been rolled away. I even got on the scale and was 5 pounds lighter…J I have had some other thoughts too the past few months about my life as a believer in Jesus.
Further reflection has led me to to the thought that life doesn’t always turn out how we plan it. Often it seems to turn out almost exactly opposite of how we thought it would. The job you’ve worked so hard to get slips through your fingers. The relationship that seemed to be “it” disintegrates before your very eyes. The person that you thought you could always trust betrays you. Your dreams of being used by God in great ways never seem to materialize into the way you may have dreamed. When life doesn’t turn out how you have imagined, it can be painful and confusing. More than once I’ve looked at my own life and thought, “Lord, I don’t understand what you are doing here! This was not the plan!”
These days, many people I consider friends don’t claim to follow Jesus - a complete turnaround from the way life used to be when I first became a Christ follower. I’ve found that we have more in common than not, more similarities than differences. What I have learned about Jesus through these relationships especially as of late is more than I could learn from any book or sermon. I’ve learned that Jesus is a respecter of all persons. He loves “Steve” as much as He loves me. The same is true for all those I have come to know in the past year. I’ve always known it, but now I’ve seen it. I’ve lived it.
I am a sinner and a saint. I am wise and foolish. I am holy and impure. It is not my responsibility to convince the world of who Jesus is so that they will join the “good side.” It is not my responsibility to shame others with a pious perfection. However, it is my responsibility to journey through this life with others in such a way that Jesus is present here and now with them. That through me, they might be loved and discover they are loved by Him. That is really my only “job” as a Christ follower. Knowing that shall certainly take at least another 10 lbs. off that scale.
This past week in particular, I have been giving much thought to what it means to walk in the light of Christ as a believer. In the past it was my nature to beat myself up when I sinned, fell away from Christ for a period of time, or just struggled with whether or not he was listening to me. This morning as I was spending some quite time just talking to God, I really felt like God was reminding me that there are definitely three voices and they all talk at the same time at various moments in my life. Those voices are my own, God’s and Satan’s. It was in that moment that I was reminded that I am a Christ follower. I have already accepted the gift of grace. I have already been forgiven for every nasty deed I have done or will do. I don’t have to beat myself up any longer. God already did that for me when he allowed his son to be nailed to that cross where so many other sinners like myself had gone before Him. In that moment at approximately 5:30 a.m. this morning, I felt like a heavy rock that was pinning me down had been rolled away. I even got on the scale and was 5 pounds lighter…J I have had some other thoughts too the past few months about my life as a believer in Jesus.
Further reflection has led me to to the thought that life doesn’t always turn out how we plan it. Often it seems to turn out almost exactly opposite of how we thought it would. The job you’ve worked so hard to get slips through your fingers. The relationship that seemed to be “it” disintegrates before your very eyes. The person that you thought you could always trust betrays you. Your dreams of being used by God in great ways never seem to materialize into the way you may have dreamed. When life doesn’t turn out how you have imagined, it can be painful and confusing. More than once I’ve looked at my own life and thought, “Lord, I don’t understand what you are doing here! This was not the plan!”
These days, many people I consider friends don’t claim to follow Jesus - a complete turnaround from the way life used to be when I first became a Christ follower. I’ve found that we have more in common than not, more similarities than differences. What I have learned about Jesus through these relationships especially as of late is more than I could learn from any book or sermon. I’ve learned that Jesus is a respecter of all persons. He loves “Steve” as much as He loves me. The same is true for all those I have come to know in the past year. I’ve always known it, but now I’ve seen it. I’ve lived it.
I am a sinner and a saint. I am wise and foolish. I am holy and impure. It is not my responsibility to convince the world of who Jesus is so that they will join the “good side.” It is not my responsibility to shame others with a pious perfection. However, it is my responsibility to journey through this life with others in such a way that Jesus is present here and now with them. That through me, they might be loved and discover they are loved by Him. That is really my only “job” as a Christ follower. Knowing that shall certainly take at least another 10 lbs. off that scale.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
"I Love My Neighborhood"
The past few weeks at the church that I attend we have been walking through a series called, “I love Cincinnati.” This initially spurred some negative thinking on my part because I began thinking about all the “places” I love more than Cincinnati. As we have been reading about how God through Paul’s teachings call us to be City lovers, I was not quite connecting. To understand where I am coming from, I have to share a part of myself which requires an uncomfortable form of authenticity.
I told myself early on after my daughter was born 16 years ago that I only live in Cincinnati because this is where my child is. I admittedly have at some points in my past bashed our City for their lack of open-mindedness, vision, ability to get things done and offering very little in return for my observations. This is my failure.
If I am honest, there are many things about Cincinnati which I love and have passed on to my own daughter. Early on, I began exposing her to our very culturally rich arts community. I have taken her several times to every museum and most of the art galleries in Cincinnati and each time we have discovered something new. Most recently, I took her to an early showing of Reggie Calloway at the Blue Wisp Jazz Club. My daughter is a wonderfully talented musical artist and I have always exposed her to different genres of music so she has a very eclectic collection and appreciation of music. Of course every summer, we hit the church festival circuit and enjoy running into friends and acquaintances there. When she was younger, she enjoyed indulging my love of basketball by going to the Devereux Summer League basketball games which brought out the most wonderful display of college and NBA players meeting in a hot gym at Purcell Marian High School for the simple love of the game. She has painted her face for Bengals games and chanted the UC and XU chants. To my dismay, she prefers XU over UC. Taylor and I have traveled to many different neighborhoods around the City over the years and enjoyed what they had to offer…Price Hill Chili, Mt. Adams Fish House, and The Echo for breakfast every Sunday where Stephanie knows exactly what we order. Although I like to switch it up every now and then to throw her off.
So now you know the many ways we have enjoyed Cincinnati, but I want to take it a step farther. I believe “my neighborhood” is not just where I live. My neighborhood or community are the people I do life with. My close friends, the people I work with, my family, the lady that lives next door to me, the homeless person that I take to lunch, the orphan child that sits on my lap in Mexico, or the widow that I read to in our senior village.
In the book of Ephesians Chapter 4 vs 29-32 it says, “Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. And do not bring sorrow to God's Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”
To me, this means if as a neighborhood as I have defined it, band together and serve the needs of each other and our City then we are in effect City lovers and there is no end to what we can accomplish in making our City and our world a better place. It doesn’t mean you have to take on a huge project like rebuilding a dilapidated city block although we should. It means performing an act of kindness, picking up a piece of trash when you see it, mowing your elderly neighbors lawn, volunteering to help a child learn to read, spending time building into a close friend. All of these things will help you “love your neighborhood.” Your neighborhood can be carried with you anywhere you live or travel.
Henry Wadworth Lonfellow said, “I have an affection for a great city. I feel safe in the neighborhood of man, and enjoy the sweet security of the streets. It sounds to me like Henry did his part and truly loved his neighborhood and his neighborhood loved him back.
I told myself early on after my daughter was born 16 years ago that I only live in Cincinnati because this is where my child is. I admittedly have at some points in my past bashed our City for their lack of open-mindedness, vision, ability to get things done and offering very little in return for my observations. This is my failure.
If I am honest, there are many things about Cincinnati which I love and have passed on to my own daughter. Early on, I began exposing her to our very culturally rich arts community. I have taken her several times to every museum and most of the art galleries in Cincinnati and each time we have discovered something new. Most recently, I took her to an early showing of Reggie Calloway at the Blue Wisp Jazz Club. My daughter is a wonderfully talented musical artist and I have always exposed her to different genres of music so she has a very eclectic collection and appreciation of music. Of course every summer, we hit the church festival circuit and enjoy running into friends and acquaintances there. When she was younger, she enjoyed indulging my love of basketball by going to the Devereux Summer League basketball games which brought out the most wonderful display of college and NBA players meeting in a hot gym at Purcell Marian High School for the simple love of the game. She has painted her face for Bengals games and chanted the UC and XU chants. To my dismay, she prefers XU over UC. Taylor and I have traveled to many different neighborhoods around the City over the years and enjoyed what they had to offer…Price Hill Chili, Mt. Adams Fish House, and The Echo for breakfast every Sunday where Stephanie knows exactly what we order. Although I like to switch it up every now and then to throw her off.
So now you know the many ways we have enjoyed Cincinnati, but I want to take it a step farther. I believe “my neighborhood” is not just where I live. My neighborhood or community are the people I do life with. My close friends, the people I work with, my family, the lady that lives next door to me, the homeless person that I take to lunch, the orphan child that sits on my lap in Mexico, or the widow that I read to in our senior village.
In the book of Ephesians Chapter 4 vs 29-32 it says, “Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. And do not bring sorrow to God's Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”
To me, this means if as a neighborhood as I have defined it, band together and serve the needs of each other and our City then we are in effect City lovers and there is no end to what we can accomplish in making our City and our world a better place. It doesn’t mean you have to take on a huge project like rebuilding a dilapidated city block although we should. It means performing an act of kindness, picking up a piece of trash when you see it, mowing your elderly neighbors lawn, volunteering to help a child learn to read, spending time building into a close friend. All of these things will help you “love your neighborhood.” Your neighborhood can be carried with you anywhere you live or travel.
Henry Wadworth Lonfellow said, “I have an affection for a great city. I feel safe in the neighborhood of man, and enjoy the sweet security of the streets. It sounds to me like Henry did his part and truly loved his neighborhood and his neighborhood loved him back.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Submission...NO....NOT A Dirty Word"
Submission has never ever….. ever been my strong point. In fact I can confidently say that it is an area of my life that God has been challenging me to get on board with for a very long time.
In my journey through life, I have pushed the envelope and broken most of the rules. The question I have asked myself and want very much to ask my daughter when I see her breaking the rules is did I find the freedom, excitement, and fulfillment I was looking for? There were certainly some thrilling times, but freedom, fulfillment, success, happiness, life at it's best... not even close.
Yes….sin is like being lactose intolerant…eating a delicious scoop of Graeters Black Raspberry Chip Ice Cream and then promptly feeling it sour in your stomach 30 minutes later! It taste’s great going down but OMG don’t come too close afterwords. My lack of submission to God, my parents, those in leadership positions and even my former husband didn't bring any of the sweetness… just brokenness, frustration, anger, hurt, confusion, resentment, and a number of other consequences which I don’t even want to think about.
I have learned that my definition of submitting to authority and God’s definition is… SURPRISE….very different. God’s definition of submission is to voluntarily arrange yourself under authority. When we do that, we cooperate with that leader, we are to help carry the responsibility and the load. The goal is to ultimately accomplish a much larger work than you could do on your own.
I always viewed submission as being weak or somehow being in bondage to people or situations I did not want to be enslaved by. I have always been very independent and always thought I knew exactly what I wanted and always was under the distinct impression that I not GOD was in control. Thank goodness HE never gave up on me and put just the right people in my life at key times to speak the truth in love.
For example, I have the great privilege to work with followers of Christ everyday who are submitting to not just God’s authority over their lives but they are also submitting to one another to accomplish the goal of carrying out God’s orders regarding the poor, and children that have been abandoned and don’t have the same opportunities to just a high school education that most of us have had. I am in awe of the fine people that I work with every single day and the sacrifices that they make in order for our world to be a better place and to carry out God’s plan.
I am learning how to submit to authority every single day and am actively seeking out situations to submit by simply being an active listener to those in need and speaking God’s truth to them, by praying over those that need prayer at any given time, and by not rebelling when God is clearly trying to tell me something.
I have finally begun to realize that when I submit to God and live my life the way He intended, I get the best results and experience life in a way I couldn’t be more thankful for. As I continue to apply God's truth of submission to the other areas of my life I know I will find peace, excitement, love, joy, and all the things I've been wanting for my life all along. When I submit to authority I am under God’s covering….no better place to be!
In my journey through life, I have pushed the envelope and broken most of the rules. The question I have asked myself and want very much to ask my daughter when I see her breaking the rules is did I find the freedom, excitement, and fulfillment I was looking for? There were certainly some thrilling times, but freedom, fulfillment, success, happiness, life at it's best... not even close.
Yes….sin is like being lactose intolerant…eating a delicious scoop of Graeters Black Raspberry Chip Ice Cream and then promptly feeling it sour in your stomach 30 minutes later! It taste’s great going down but OMG don’t come too close afterwords. My lack of submission to God, my parents, those in leadership positions and even my former husband didn't bring any of the sweetness… just brokenness, frustration, anger, hurt, confusion, resentment, and a number of other consequences which I don’t even want to think about.
I have learned that my definition of submitting to authority and God’s definition is… SURPRISE….very different. God’s definition of submission is to voluntarily arrange yourself under authority. When we do that, we cooperate with that leader, we are to help carry the responsibility and the load. The goal is to ultimately accomplish a much larger work than you could do on your own.
I always viewed submission as being weak or somehow being in bondage to people or situations I did not want to be enslaved by. I have always been very independent and always thought I knew exactly what I wanted and always was under the distinct impression that I not GOD was in control. Thank goodness HE never gave up on me and put just the right people in my life at key times to speak the truth in love.
For example, I have the great privilege to work with followers of Christ everyday who are submitting to not just God’s authority over their lives but they are also submitting to one another to accomplish the goal of carrying out God’s orders regarding the poor, and children that have been abandoned and don’t have the same opportunities to just a high school education that most of us have had. I am in awe of the fine people that I work with every single day and the sacrifices that they make in order for our world to be a better place and to carry out God’s plan.
I am learning how to submit to authority every single day and am actively seeking out situations to submit by simply being an active listener to those in need and speaking God’s truth to them, by praying over those that need prayer at any given time, and by not rebelling when God is clearly trying to tell me something.
I have finally begun to realize that when I submit to God and live my life the way He intended, I get the best results and experience life in a way I couldn’t be more thankful for. As I continue to apply God's truth of submission to the other areas of my life I know I will find peace, excitement, love, joy, and all the things I've been wanting for my life all along. When I submit to authority I am under God’s covering….no better place to be!
Friday, June 5, 2009
"Passion and Calling In A Changing World"
I have spent the last year really focusing on what God is saying to me about my calling in this world. I have to admit my twist on this posting has changed somewhat based on a conversation we have been having amongst our staff about our changing world.
Our world is no longer separate…it is becoming more and more like one BIG community. As a believer in Christ and specifically a growing believer I know that it is my job to minister to non-Christians and even growing Christians like myself. My passion as most of you know is the orphan child. Having the opportunity to minister to young people starting at a very early age is key not to just raising up amazing kids into wonderful, productive Christian adults but it also ensures that God’s word does not get lost in an ever changing world where Christianity could very well get “lost” if fellow Christians are not bold in their faith and speak out about our Wonderful God.
Our world is changing significantly. For example, The US is not growing at the same rate as Europe. Statistics show that in our children’s lifetime, Europe will move from a Christian nation to a Muslim nation just based on sheer numbers alone as they reproduce at a rate of 8.1. Now I realize I am broaching a very sensitive subject and I am going to come at it from a very different angle than most. I have many friends that are Muslim…some practice their faith and some are Christians. I am definitely an individual who has friends from all walks of life, race, religion, cultures etc. I enjoy meeting people from all walks of faith at all different levels because it gives me an OPPORTUNITY to speak about my father “God”.
Christians should be using their time here on earth as an opportunity to act as Jesus did amongst his disciples. When Jesus chose his disciples they came from all different life experiences and cultural backgrounds. That made them quite the motley crew. I don’t think they would have been confirmed in any modern day Senate Hearing. Even as followers of Christ, isn’t that how we are? Imperfect… sometimes unfaithful and even a bit rebellious at times? But those flaws should give us the perfect platform to speak to non-Christians. It should give us the chance to speak about our walk to become more like Jesus. And the wonderful thing is you don’t have to go all the way to Mexico, Africa or India to do this. Look around you….there are people from all over the world living right here in the good ole USA. There are many orphan children, homeless people and lost individuals with families to minister to about the plan that Jesus has for their life.
Even though my “passion” is to minister to kids…I know that as a believer in God, He has called me to minister to all. I am thoroughly convinced that is why He wired me with a “load” of tolerance, love, affection, discernment and humility. My challenge to you is not to confuse your passion with your calling. It doesn’t mean they cannot be married to each other but as a Christian we have the ‘CALLING” to minister to all non-believers and to be BOLD in our faith and GOD will give us the GLORY STRENGTH like that which we can never muster up on our own to deliver His word and His hope for His world.
From the Book of Deuteronomy we are called to “Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid...for the Lord thy God, will go with you; he will not fail you, nor forsake you.
Our world is no longer separate…it is becoming more and more like one BIG community. As a believer in Christ and specifically a growing believer I know that it is my job to minister to non-Christians and even growing Christians like myself. My passion as most of you know is the orphan child. Having the opportunity to minister to young people starting at a very early age is key not to just raising up amazing kids into wonderful, productive Christian adults but it also ensures that God’s word does not get lost in an ever changing world where Christianity could very well get “lost” if fellow Christians are not bold in their faith and speak out about our Wonderful God.
Our world is changing significantly. For example, The US is not growing at the same rate as Europe. Statistics show that in our children’s lifetime, Europe will move from a Christian nation to a Muslim nation just based on sheer numbers alone as they reproduce at a rate of 8.1. Now I realize I am broaching a very sensitive subject and I am going to come at it from a very different angle than most. I have many friends that are Muslim…some practice their faith and some are Christians. I am definitely an individual who has friends from all walks of life, race, religion, cultures etc. I enjoy meeting people from all walks of faith at all different levels because it gives me an OPPORTUNITY to speak about my father “God”.
Christians should be using their time here on earth as an opportunity to act as Jesus did amongst his disciples. When Jesus chose his disciples they came from all different life experiences and cultural backgrounds. That made them quite the motley crew. I don’t think they would have been confirmed in any modern day Senate Hearing. Even as followers of Christ, isn’t that how we are? Imperfect… sometimes unfaithful and even a bit rebellious at times? But those flaws should give us the perfect platform to speak to non-Christians. It should give us the chance to speak about our walk to become more like Jesus. And the wonderful thing is you don’t have to go all the way to Mexico, Africa or India to do this. Look around you….there are people from all over the world living right here in the good ole USA. There are many orphan children, homeless people and lost individuals with families to minister to about the plan that Jesus has for their life.
Even though my “passion” is to minister to kids…I know that as a believer in God, He has called me to minister to all. I am thoroughly convinced that is why He wired me with a “load” of tolerance, love, affection, discernment and humility. My challenge to you is not to confuse your passion with your calling. It doesn’t mean they cannot be married to each other but as a Christian we have the ‘CALLING” to minister to all non-believers and to be BOLD in our faith and GOD will give us the GLORY STRENGTH like that which we can never muster up on our own to deliver His word and His hope for His world.
From the Book of Deuteronomy we are called to “Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid...for the Lord thy God, will go with you; he will not fail you, nor forsake you.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
"OF THIS WORLD....I THINK NOT"
Father, Daddy, Holy One, Heavenly Father, Worthy, Peace, Joy, Grace, Mercy, Thankfulness, Wisdom, Forgiveness.
I went to Wednesday night service last night and during prayer, those in attendance were throwing out words they thought of when thinking of God. After I had the chance to let the evening and my day in general sink in, I had so many thoughts that were running rampid in my mind.
First and foremost, I had the opportunity to have lunch with an old college friend of mine. The person’s name is not important but the journey both he and I have been on is. I can only speak to my experience and what little I know of his. What I can affirm is that for many years the ways of my life were not the ways God had in store for me. Nor were they for my friend. One thing I knew way back in the day was that my friend had so many great ideas but really had not leaned on anyone but himself and those that were not good for him to get those ideas implemented. This friend I speak of, I am even more proud to know than ever. And I think he feels the same about me as well because we continue to learn and build into each other…only now it is done through Christ and not the ways of this world. Like me, he has an incredible passion for our youth and the orphan child. He has an incredible talent for speaking truth by using his experiences in such a vulnerable way that you can’t help but become passionate about the things that God has placed on his heart and how God is using him to minister to our youth. So, suffice it to say my afternoon was incredibly blessed. Never in a million years would I have thought that God could take our brokenness and our sinfulness and put us across the table from each other 20 years later and we would be praying in the middle of Panera for each other….AMAZING and HUMBLING!
God had much to teach me yesterday...I followed up that very blessed lunch appointment with an evening of worship, communion and reflection. During Communion, people had the opportunity to speak to our band members if they felt like God was telling them something in the midst of prayer. Our worship team took these thoughts and right there on stage wrote a song. We sang it as a congregation and it turned out to be a beautiful, heartfelt song to God.
Part of my journey is how God has used my problems and sinful nature in my life to build my character and bring me closer in relationship to him. It is all part of the journey. He has used my walk in life to direct me, inspect me, correct me, protect me and perfect me. This is a never ending act of love. I can rest in peace knowing that he will continue to do these things for me to bring me closer to him. I know this because it is PROMISED!
One of my favorite verses in the Bible comes from the book of Romans 5:3-4. It says "We can rejoice when we run into problems... they help us learn to be patient. And patience develops strength of character in us and helps us trust God more each time we use it until finally our hope and faith are strong and steady."
My relationship with God and my character is all I will be taking with me when I leave this world…I think about that a lot and when I do everything else seems so “OF THIS WORLD.”
I went to Wednesday night service last night and during prayer, those in attendance were throwing out words they thought of when thinking of God. After I had the chance to let the evening and my day in general sink in, I had so many thoughts that were running rampid in my mind.
First and foremost, I had the opportunity to have lunch with an old college friend of mine. The person’s name is not important but the journey both he and I have been on is. I can only speak to my experience and what little I know of his. What I can affirm is that for many years the ways of my life were not the ways God had in store for me. Nor were they for my friend. One thing I knew way back in the day was that my friend had so many great ideas but really had not leaned on anyone but himself and those that were not good for him to get those ideas implemented. This friend I speak of, I am even more proud to know than ever. And I think he feels the same about me as well because we continue to learn and build into each other…only now it is done through Christ and not the ways of this world. Like me, he has an incredible passion for our youth and the orphan child. He has an incredible talent for speaking truth by using his experiences in such a vulnerable way that you can’t help but become passionate about the things that God has placed on his heart and how God is using him to minister to our youth. So, suffice it to say my afternoon was incredibly blessed. Never in a million years would I have thought that God could take our brokenness and our sinfulness and put us across the table from each other 20 years later and we would be praying in the middle of Panera for each other….AMAZING and HUMBLING!
God had much to teach me yesterday...I followed up that very blessed lunch appointment with an evening of worship, communion and reflection. During Communion, people had the opportunity to speak to our band members if they felt like God was telling them something in the midst of prayer. Our worship team took these thoughts and right there on stage wrote a song. We sang it as a congregation and it turned out to be a beautiful, heartfelt song to God.
Part of my journey is how God has used my problems and sinful nature in my life to build my character and bring me closer in relationship to him. It is all part of the journey. He has used my walk in life to direct me, inspect me, correct me, protect me and perfect me. This is a never ending act of love. I can rest in peace knowing that he will continue to do these things for me to bring me closer to him. I know this because it is PROMISED!
One of my favorite verses in the Bible comes from the book of Romans 5:3-4. It says "We can rejoice when we run into problems... they help us learn to be patient. And patience develops strength of character in us and helps us trust God more each time we use it until finally our hope and faith are strong and steady."
My relationship with God and my character is all I will be taking with me when I leave this world…I think about that a lot and when I do everything else seems so “OF THIS WORLD.”
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
"It's OK To Question"
Being in relationship with God can sometimes be very tough. For those who have lost a family member or a child prematurely or for those who have suffered from cancer or some other life altering illness, a relationship with God can be like being in relationship with your worst enemy.
In January of this year, I lost one of my best friends, Amber Perry, to suicide. My relationship with Amber began in 2000 when we were both working on the Department of Energy Cleanup Site together. Amber was cute, funny, smart and she had the most infectious laugh. I can still hear the sound of her laugh in my head sometimes. I hope I never lose that sound. Amber moved away to Georgia for another job a few years ago so our visits were limited to just a few times per year. I was blessed to be able to share time with her and her mother a few months before her death. I don’t know why she did what she did. I can speculate but I will never truly know what was going on inside her head. What I do know is that I went through a period of guilt. I still have her last voice mail exactly one week before her death on my phone where she told me what a great friend I was and how much she loved and respected me. While I should feel good about THAT…I don’t because what I remember is speaking with her 10 days before her death where she shared with me how sad she was about her job loss in Georgia and how she hated driving back and forth to Knoxville and how she felt she would never meet anyone special to share her life with. I told her she had so much to be grateful for…a great mom, a beautiful daughter and even a job even though it was not the job she wanted. I scolded her for not recognizing how blessed she was.
What I shoulda, woulda, coulda done was…..LISTEN! While I am not pretending to know what it is like to lose a child or a spouse…I do know what it is like to question God and how he can let bad things happen to good people. I definitely have been that girl who has stood in the middle of the living room and professed hatred for my FATHER. And I am pretty sure that was me not to long ago on my knees asking the why questions with tears streaming down my face. What I also know is that God likes that….it’s called a relationship. While I may not always understand, and I may even get mad at God to the point I need to ask for forgiveness, I have decided that especially in trying to reconcile my guilty feelings surrounding my relationship with Amber that I have to trust God for not only the good, but also the bad in my life. Only God knows all the purposes behind catastrophic events. I have to trust Him to have known these events and if I were guilty of any harm, to claim His forgiveness, then forgive myself.
I think what most of us struggle with in the area of forgiving GOD for awful things that happen in this world like, death, starvation, rape, murder etc. is that when we forgive our enemies for harming us in some way…they may still be our enemy…it is very tangible because you can see it and feel it. When we reconcile with God, we may not hear anything but silence and we are left having to grasp for the good that this life has to offer and having to rely on our faith that he loves us. I mean he must LOVE US as he sent his ONLY son to die for us. He was not selfish when he sent Jesus to die on the cross….. Life is not fair or easy. It was not meant to be so. There is no place in the Bible that says life is fair and quite frankly I don’t want it to be. It also does not promise us that life is going to be easy. Life is an experience…a learning experience….one lesson after another. For some of us, learning can be very painful and can feel hopeless, without explanation and without a reason as to what that lesson was all about or what it was trying to teach us.
God’s reconciliation of me to Him through his Son is the answer to the hurts I can not comprehend. Forgiveness will not take away yours or mine extreme pain and sadness . It also will not take away our suffering right now. But, suffering and pain is temporary and will end. Paul wrote to the Christians on the subject of pain and what God wants for us when dealing with pain and suffering. It comes from the book of Colossians 2:2-3. “That your hearts might be comforted, being united in love, and to all riches of the full assurance of understanding, to the acknowledgement of the mystery of God, and of the Father, and of Christ; In whom are hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.”
I am a cancer survivor. We all know many people that were not quite so lucky. I could be angry about why God would let me get cancer at all but I prefer to look at the glass half full vs. half empty. I am thankful for not dying right now but if I ever become terminally ill, I will choose to still thank God for letting me eek out a few extra years to continue with my life lessons. I will sometimes still question God’s methods and actions. And I will admit to often not understanding them….but I will stand on this scripture when I am having a difficult moment with God…a come to Jesus meeting shall we say….“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, says the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55: 8-9.
God will not punish you for being angry or even questioning because that means you are having a relationship with HIM even if it is just yelling and crying. It has to start somewhere.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
"Death Becomes Me"
It has been so long since I have put the proverbial pen to the paper…or simply laid my hands on the keyboard to write what is going on in my head. I have had so many heavy things on my mind as of late but the one thing I have been struggling with is that the farther I go out on this limb to follow God and ask even more of him…the more the Devil presents himself…. and he really is hitting below the belt. He attacks by using people that mean so much to you or who have the potential to be a part of my life in a meaningful way. My prayer list continues to grow longer and longer. Back in the day my prayer list was more like a Christmas List of my needs. Now it is a death list…meaning when I pray, it is for all the things I must die to. And there are many because even though I try very hard to follow God every minute of every day I understand that I am not perfect.
Living with the God I am in relationship with through Jesus is giving me the opportunity to seize the true freedom to be the person that God created me to be. I am really beginning to realize for the first time in my almost 41 years that it is such an amazing and undeserved blessing that God is ordering me to willingly turn away from this world’s dead-end ways in order to gain and hold on tight to the life Jesus wants for me.
It is because of this knowledge that I hold right now that I am being pursued by a dark soul. I have had hatred spewed on me as of late by people that I care about. I have had situations cross my path that I thought could be good for me but I had to really evaluate and walk away from those situations because I realized they were not from Him. Then, there have been moments recently where I have had to ask HIM for forgiveness once again for something I have done or something that I have thought of doing.
Friends, I am here to tell you that the closer you get to God, the more the Devil will try to engage you in a footrace. It is the days that I feel like I am losing the race that I pray the hardest to die…It is this knowledge that gives me the most hope because when you begin to die to self this is what happens….the good you do is spoke of from an evil perspective, your wishes are ignored, the advice you hand out can be ignored, your thoughts and opinions are ridiculed. In those moments I am REFUSING to let anger overtake my heart or to avidly defend myself. Instead, I am PRAYING about patience, endurance and loving silence during those times… and it is in those moments that I DIE!
Living with the God I am in relationship with through Jesus is giving me the opportunity to seize the true freedom to be the person that God created me to be. I am really beginning to realize for the first time in my almost 41 years that it is such an amazing and undeserved blessing that God is ordering me to willingly turn away from this world’s dead-end ways in order to gain and hold on tight to the life Jesus wants for me.
It is because of this knowledge that I hold right now that I am being pursued by a dark soul. I have had hatred spewed on me as of late by people that I care about. I have had situations cross my path that I thought could be good for me but I had to really evaluate and walk away from those situations because I realized they were not from Him. Then, there have been moments recently where I have had to ask HIM for forgiveness once again for something I have done or something that I have thought of doing.
Friends, I am here to tell you that the closer you get to God, the more the Devil will try to engage you in a footrace. It is the days that I feel like I am losing the race that I pray the hardest to die…It is this knowledge that gives me the most hope because when you begin to die to self this is what happens….the good you do is spoke of from an evil perspective, your wishes are ignored, the advice you hand out can be ignored, your thoughts and opinions are ridiculed. In those moments I am REFUSING to let anger overtake my heart or to avidly defend myself. Instead, I am PRAYING about patience, endurance and loving silence during those times… and it is in those moments that I DIE!
Monday, April 20, 2009
"Sunday In Monterrey"
After a pretty good sleep on a bunk…the top bunk. It’s a younger sister thing. I am fairly certain that had we had bunk beds as a kid, I would have been stuck with the bottom bunk and my sister would have done terrible things to me from the air. Anyway, I woke up in my dark dorm room and it was just so quiet. I am the only one in here right now. We have a large group from Family Christian Bookstore arriving today and a small group of doctors from Dayton, Ohio.
After eating breakfast and having some quiet time to myself, I met up with Kelly and Gabo Velasco. Kelly and Gabo are on staff here at Back2Back. Kelly is this five foot nothing ball of energy from Drexel, NC. She came here on a mission trip back in 2002 and like it so much that she came back every year on trips and then eventually decided she wanted to try and live a year here on what we call our STINT staff. They help out with groups and projects here on campus and do outreach in Monterrey. She met Gabo and they fell in love. Gabo is originally from Mexico City. He is like a big teddy bear and he is in charge of many of the construction projects that we have going on at Del Norte Children’s Home. He said he asked Kelly to marry him everyday for six months and her response was always….maybe tomorrow. They are just the sweetest couple and I enjoyed hanging with them and the Clouse Family also from North Carolina yesterday. We started our day at church. WE went to the Casa Hogar Douglas Chapel which sits high on a hill with views of the mountains. The congregation is absolutely thrilled because do to some awesome donations they were able to put a new roof on the chapel so they can have service there year round. The music worship was amazing. I even knew most of the songs and now know what they sound like in Spanish.
After church myself and the Clouse’s went back to campus and the we made lunch at the Velasco’s and had a great time of worship and getting to know one another. Kelly and Gabo also are house parents to the one of the girl’s homes on our campus. They have 6 girls living with them but only Katya was there Sunday. Katya is a typical 16 year-old girl. But after hanging with us all day she warmed up. We had her laughing and smiling by the end of the day! After lunch we traveled about 30 minutes away to Del Norte. It is spring break in Mexico so most of the orphans had gone to visit family. For many of them, it is the only time of the year they will see family. Mexico does not have a foster care system like the states and international adoption is very difficult here. Many of the mothers have their children but can’t take care of them, so they end up at the Children’s home but when they reach working age (typically 14 or 15) they tend to go back home and the cycle continues. That is why the Education program with Back2Back is so important. It gives kids a chance to continue their education and really be able to realize their gifts that God gave them. At Del Norte since the children were not there, it gave us a chance to look at many of the projects going on. The home is run by a 73 year old woman named Martha. Martha is amazing because she has a way of getting what she wants. She convinced Mexico to give her a 90yhear lease for the home when typically 10 year leases are the norm. She does her own fundraising and it is one of the few homes that accepts babies and mothers. She has a few mothers right now and they actually stay at the home and work and are able to be with their kids. Martha helped one of the moms get her baker’s degree and she now runs the Del Norte Bakery which is a funding source for the children’s home. Del Norte has several projects going on right now that Back2Back is helping to facilitate with some great partners. We are currently building a library, a directors apartment, more dorm space and an all purpose auditorium for the neighborhood. It is amazing to see how God has blessed Del Norte with Martha’s gifts and just amazing love and opportunities for these kids.
After leaving there we went to Manantial Del Amor also known as MDA. Connie and Edgar run this home and the boy’s home. They are also truly lovely people filled with Gods love. They actually choose to live full time with the children and their own children. They run a very tight ship and they NEVER stop praying for these kids. We are currently praying for land for them within the area where they are serving kids so that they have room for these kids to play safely and more living space. At MDA, we met Hannah “Banana” who was just adorable. She had a bag of cookies and she did not want to give them up. She was funny, talkative and all smiles. She came up to me and grabbed my leg and started talking to me in Spanish and giggling. I still do not know what she said but she seemed happy.
When we left MDA we went to the local Wal-Mart and picked up some things you can’t get in the states. The exchange rate is awesome right now so I was able to pick up several things and only spent about $5. We hen went to this Mexican restaurant for dinner called the Station and I had a great burrito. When I got back the Couch’s had invited me to their house to watch a movie so off I went and spent a nice evening with the Couch’s. AWESOME DAY!!!! Today? Wherever God take me.
After eating breakfast and having some quiet time to myself, I met up with Kelly and Gabo Velasco. Kelly and Gabo are on staff here at Back2Back. Kelly is this five foot nothing ball of energy from Drexel, NC. She came here on a mission trip back in 2002 and like it so much that she came back every year on trips and then eventually decided she wanted to try and live a year here on what we call our STINT staff. They help out with groups and projects here on campus and do outreach in Monterrey. She met Gabo and they fell in love. Gabo is originally from Mexico City. He is like a big teddy bear and he is in charge of many of the construction projects that we have going on at Del Norte Children’s Home. He said he asked Kelly to marry him everyday for six months and her response was always….maybe tomorrow. They are just the sweetest couple and I enjoyed hanging with them and the Clouse Family also from North Carolina yesterday. We started our day at church. WE went to the Casa Hogar Douglas Chapel which sits high on a hill with views of the mountains. The congregation is absolutely thrilled because do to some awesome donations they were able to put a new roof on the chapel so they can have service there year round. The music worship was amazing. I even knew most of the songs and now know what they sound like in Spanish.
After church myself and the Clouse’s went back to campus and the we made lunch at the Velasco’s and had a great time of worship and getting to know one another. Kelly and Gabo also are house parents to the one of the girl’s homes on our campus. They have 6 girls living with them but only Katya was there Sunday. Katya is a typical 16 year-old girl. But after hanging with us all day she warmed up. We had her laughing and smiling by the end of the day! After lunch we traveled about 30 minutes away to Del Norte. It is spring break in Mexico so most of the orphans had gone to visit family. For many of them, it is the only time of the year they will see family. Mexico does not have a foster care system like the states and international adoption is very difficult here. Many of the mothers have their children but can’t take care of them, so they end up at the Children’s home but when they reach working age (typically 14 or 15) they tend to go back home and the cycle continues. That is why the Education program with Back2Back is so important. It gives kids a chance to continue their education and really be able to realize their gifts that God gave them. At Del Norte since the children were not there, it gave us a chance to look at many of the projects going on. The home is run by a 73 year old woman named Martha. Martha is amazing because she has a way of getting what she wants. She convinced Mexico to give her a 90yhear lease for the home when typically 10 year leases are the norm. She does her own fundraising and it is one of the few homes that accepts babies and mothers. She has a few mothers right now and they actually stay at the home and work and are able to be with their kids. Martha helped one of the moms get her baker’s degree and she now runs the Del Norte Bakery which is a funding source for the children’s home. Del Norte has several projects going on right now that Back2Back is helping to facilitate with some great partners. We are currently building a library, a directors apartment, more dorm space and an all purpose auditorium for the neighborhood. It is amazing to see how God has blessed Del Norte with Martha’s gifts and just amazing love and opportunities for these kids.
After leaving there we went to Manantial Del Amor also known as MDA. Connie and Edgar run this home and the boy’s home. They are also truly lovely people filled with Gods love. They actually choose to live full time with the children and their own children. They run a very tight ship and they NEVER stop praying for these kids. We are currently praying for land for them within the area where they are serving kids so that they have room for these kids to play safely and more living space. At MDA, we met Hannah “Banana” who was just adorable. She had a bag of cookies and she did not want to give them up. She was funny, talkative and all smiles. She came up to me and grabbed my leg and started talking to me in Spanish and giggling. I still do not know what she said but she seemed happy.
When we left MDA we went to the local Wal-Mart and picked up some things you can’t get in the states. The exchange rate is awesome right now so I was able to pick up several things and only spent about $5. We hen went to this Mexican restaurant for dinner called the Station and I had a great burrito. When I got back the Couch’s had invited me to their house to watch a movie so off I went and spent a nice evening with the Couch’s. AWESOME DAY!!!! Today? Wherever God take me.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
"Full"
DAY ONE…Tired and blessed…. I had no flights cancelled or delayed which is a great thing. No problems in customs even though I was bringing in a big bag of donations, letters, gifts for kids. Things could not have gone any more smoothly. But of course…I was not in control…I was greeted by two of our missionaries, Tim and Kathy Couch. They are from Oklahoma and have been married for over 27 years. Tim joked that as a teenager he approached Kathy in church because he thought she was cute and said that God told him to come and talk to her because he was supposed to date her. She did not fall for it. They are the parents of two grown girls who live back in the states. They are House Parents in our Hope Program which Back2Back started to bring teens that are past the Mexico formal education age of 9th grade on to our campus to give them an opportunity to continue their education while at the same time giving us a platform to share the love of Christ with them. Tim and Cathy have 6 boys in their home which is called the David House. Anyway, they picked me up and we swapped stories on what brought us to Back2Back while driving to an area of Monterrey called Rio.
Rio is a squatter’s village. There is a woman in Rio who just has an amazing love for God and helping others. Her name is Meme. She runs a soup kitchen on Saturday’s in Rio. People that live there come for food and for praise and worship. It was very awesome. Finally, I arrive at our Back2Back Campus. The children of our missionaries held a fundraiser here today washing cars and selling baked goods. The money they raised was being given to the International Justice Mission to help rescue kids from slavery. It was here I got to meet most of the remainder of our Mexico Staff.
This evening, I went to dinner at a local Mexican restaurant where I had acchuro…flank steak covered in cheese and fresh guacamole…yum. I shared my meal tonight with Greg & Cathy Huffer who are originally from Cincinnati. Greg graduated from Anderson and Cathy from Sycamore. They have three adorable boys. There is another family here visiting that I really enjoyed getting to know this evening. Lonnie Clouse is a chaplain for NASCAR and his lovely wife Angela and two of their three children are here as well. It was really wonderful hearing about how they came to hear about our ministry and to hear their stories on how they came to have a relationship with Christ. We ended the evening at the Huffer’s house here on campus listening to the kids laughing and playing. It was really just an amazing day of fellowship. What I witnessed here today in just the very short time I have been here brings to mind a verse from Colossians 3:16 which says Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.
I saw so many people worshipping the Lord in different ways…the kids with their car wash, the children at Meme’s Rio praising God in Spanish while singing and clapping their hands and the stories about how our staff came to know Christ, I can honestly say, I really feel like I am exactly where God wants me at this point in my life!
Rio is a squatter’s village. There is a woman in Rio who just has an amazing love for God and helping others. Her name is Meme. She runs a soup kitchen on Saturday’s in Rio. People that live there come for food and for praise and worship. It was very awesome. Finally, I arrive at our Back2Back Campus. The children of our missionaries held a fundraiser here today washing cars and selling baked goods. The money they raised was being given to the International Justice Mission to help rescue kids from slavery. It was here I got to meet most of the remainder of our Mexico Staff.
This evening, I went to dinner at a local Mexican restaurant where I had acchuro…flank steak covered in cheese and fresh guacamole…yum. I shared my meal tonight with Greg & Cathy Huffer who are originally from Cincinnati. Greg graduated from Anderson and Cathy from Sycamore. They have three adorable boys. There is another family here visiting that I really enjoyed getting to know this evening. Lonnie Clouse is a chaplain for NASCAR and his lovely wife Angela and two of their three children are here as well. It was really wonderful hearing about how they came to hear about our ministry and to hear their stories on how they came to have a relationship with Christ. We ended the evening at the Huffer’s house here on campus listening to the kids laughing and playing. It was really just an amazing day of fellowship. What I witnessed here today in just the very short time I have been here brings to mind a verse from Colossians 3:16 which says Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.
I saw so many people worshipping the Lord in different ways…the kids with their car wash, the children at Meme’s Rio praising God in Spanish while singing and clapping their hands and the stories about how our staff came to know Christ, I can honestly say, I really feel like I am exactly where God wants me at this point in my life!
Friday, April 10, 2009
"Spring Awakening"
This year more than any other year of my almost 41 years, Easter seems especially meaningful. I thought there was no more fitting time than Good Friday to journal my feelings surrounding the meaning of Easter. Easter gets its origin from an English word that comes from the Anglo-Saxon word Eastre. Who was a pagan Goddess. The festival of Eastron which was held in her honor was meant to symbolize new life, the rising of the sun and a new beginning.
I have been thinking quite a bit lately about my journey to my relationship with Jesus. I have had a truly blessed life that if one were to look at all the things I have done in my life, the shenanigans I have pulled, the people I have hurt, the self-destructive patterns that existed in my life one might ask why I have had such a blessed life. The simple answer is because “I AM FORGIVEN.” Once I was able to grasp that the events leading up to today…Good Friday is the reason my life has been and is so blessed.
God knew all the bad things and good things in my life before I did and he gave me the greatest gift that anyone could ever give me…his own son. Jesus suffered the most brutal death any of us could ever imagine. He took every sin that was committed, is committed and will be committed by any of us on to that cross with him. I think that is hard for any of us to grasp without doubt being present. And that is where my journey began…so I want to describe my journey using the word Easter to describe it.
E --- Esoteric. There was a time when I believed that Christianity was esoteric. I felt that Jesus was so mysterious by the very nature of what he did for us that he must not be available to me because I was not enlightened or educated enough to just believe and accept what he did. I felt there must be a secret that I somehow was not allowed in on. God in his infinite wisdom and because I to am his child and he knows my every thought and concern, surrounded me with incredible individuals that began to educate me about who Jesus is in a way that I could understand without all the “religious” undertones. Real people that spoke truth and love into my spirit.
A – Acceptance. I eventually came to a place in the path where I could have turned left on the path of rejection like so many people that I knew. This would mean doing things my own way and rejecting all I had learned and researched on my own about the life of this carpenter that we called Jesus. Or, I could turn right and do something truly amazing and accept that Jesus was sent to save me from myself. All I had to do was lay down all my baggage at the fork, make the turn and accept. Wow…that was the turn I took and all I can say is it is so much easier letting someone else take that baggage for me.
S – Sadness over my sinful nature. Good Friday is a sad day for me because I do have a passionate nature and I have accepted what Jesus did for me and now today we symbolize the brutal death that he took on for all of us. He took all my sins on the cross. That gift of amazing sacrifice moves me to tears every time I think about it and makes me sad for my portion of sin that he took on. If there is any day of the year where I am extremely humbled and on my knees in thankfulness it is today.
T – Touched. Although, today can be sad and humbling for me. Another emotion which could be used as an adjective or a verb is touched. I am ever so touched by the mercy and grace that is shown to me on a daily basis because of my love and acceptance of Jesus for what he did for me, but I also want every part of my being to be TOUCHED with his power and filled with his fullness. I am humbled and amazed that I can enter into a personal relationship with God himself. Me - the girl who struggles with so many things that pain His heart - have been given a position in His family. I am truly touched!
E – Eternal. This gift given to me upon acceptance is eternal. God “regifts” me every day with love, mercy and grace. I am so happy with this concept of eternity because although I have 40 years to look back on and reflect upon…I have an ETERNITY to look forward to because I believe in him and I have been promised eternal life and I am standing right now on that promise! Thank you God!!
R – Resurrection and Receive. The word resurrection means rebirth, to reawake. Springtime is a wonderful season for the rebirth of plants and flowers and all of the beautiful things that God created. There is no greater time to celebrate the Resurrection of Jesus than the season of Spring. When I think of resurrection, I think of the prayer which was taught to me growing up by my Grandmother about “dying before I wake.” You know the one…Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take. My hope for friends and family and even those I do not know is NOT “if I should die before I wake” but “I hope you wake before you die.” And all any of us have to do to get this eternal life is RECEIVE. I don’t know about you…but I LOVE receiving gifts. And on this Good Friday we who are willing to RECEIVE will be RESURRECTED…reawakened….just in time for Spring! HAPPY EASTER!
I have been thinking quite a bit lately about my journey to my relationship with Jesus. I have had a truly blessed life that if one were to look at all the things I have done in my life, the shenanigans I have pulled, the people I have hurt, the self-destructive patterns that existed in my life one might ask why I have had such a blessed life. The simple answer is because “I AM FORGIVEN.” Once I was able to grasp that the events leading up to today…Good Friday is the reason my life has been and is so blessed.
God knew all the bad things and good things in my life before I did and he gave me the greatest gift that anyone could ever give me…his own son. Jesus suffered the most brutal death any of us could ever imagine. He took every sin that was committed, is committed and will be committed by any of us on to that cross with him. I think that is hard for any of us to grasp without doubt being present. And that is where my journey began…so I want to describe my journey using the word Easter to describe it.
E --- Esoteric. There was a time when I believed that Christianity was esoteric. I felt that Jesus was so mysterious by the very nature of what he did for us that he must not be available to me because I was not enlightened or educated enough to just believe and accept what he did. I felt there must be a secret that I somehow was not allowed in on. God in his infinite wisdom and because I to am his child and he knows my every thought and concern, surrounded me with incredible individuals that began to educate me about who Jesus is in a way that I could understand without all the “religious” undertones. Real people that spoke truth and love into my spirit.
A – Acceptance. I eventually came to a place in the path where I could have turned left on the path of rejection like so many people that I knew. This would mean doing things my own way and rejecting all I had learned and researched on my own about the life of this carpenter that we called Jesus. Or, I could turn right and do something truly amazing and accept that Jesus was sent to save me from myself. All I had to do was lay down all my baggage at the fork, make the turn and accept. Wow…that was the turn I took and all I can say is it is so much easier letting someone else take that baggage for me.
S – Sadness over my sinful nature. Good Friday is a sad day for me because I do have a passionate nature and I have accepted what Jesus did for me and now today we symbolize the brutal death that he took on for all of us. He took all my sins on the cross. That gift of amazing sacrifice moves me to tears every time I think about it and makes me sad for my portion of sin that he took on. If there is any day of the year where I am extremely humbled and on my knees in thankfulness it is today.
T – Touched. Although, today can be sad and humbling for me. Another emotion which could be used as an adjective or a verb is touched. I am ever so touched by the mercy and grace that is shown to me on a daily basis because of my love and acceptance of Jesus for what he did for me, but I also want every part of my being to be TOUCHED with his power and filled with his fullness. I am humbled and amazed that I can enter into a personal relationship with God himself. Me - the girl who struggles with so many things that pain His heart - have been given a position in His family. I am truly touched!
E – Eternal. This gift given to me upon acceptance is eternal. God “regifts” me every day with love, mercy and grace. I am so happy with this concept of eternity because although I have 40 years to look back on and reflect upon…I have an ETERNITY to look forward to because I believe in him and I have been promised eternal life and I am standing right now on that promise! Thank you God!!
R – Resurrection and Receive. The word resurrection means rebirth, to reawake. Springtime is a wonderful season for the rebirth of plants and flowers and all of the beautiful things that God created. There is no greater time to celebrate the Resurrection of Jesus than the season of Spring. When I think of resurrection, I think of the prayer which was taught to me growing up by my Grandmother about “dying before I wake.” You know the one…Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take. My hope for friends and family and even those I do not know is NOT “if I should die before I wake” but “I hope you wake before you die.” And all any of us have to do to get this eternal life is RECEIVE. I don’t know about you…but I LOVE receiving gifts. And on this Good Friday we who are willing to RECEIVE will be RESURRECTED…reawakened….just in time for Spring! HAPPY EASTER!
Thursday, April 2, 2009
"Step Right In To The Heavy Hearts Club"
My heart has been so heavy today…This morning I was watching the Today Show and there was a story about a young lady from Minnesota who was a real free spirit. She traveled the country as a nanny, was well educated and a friend to many. She was back in Minnesota and answered an ad for a nanny position on Craig’s List. Answering this ad is what led to her rape and murder by a 20 year old young man that had posted the ad simply because he wanted to kill someone. Although this story itself made me very sad and angry…it was the other feelings it stirred within me that I took throughout my day. This young lady came from a very close family who has a strong love for the Lord.
During the course of the trial, the family called on their community through various social media outlets and friends to come and surround them in court and share in their grief and stand in the trenches with them. The image of 45 plus strangers standing in court everyday with this family made me think of similar tragedies such as 911, the war in Iraq and the worldwide problem of children in slavery.
My heart is heavy because I know that I am called…no…we all are called to lift up and stand with those that are grieving or have been hurt by the social injustices of THIS world. WE must give them a voice and visibility in the face of those who wish to shut them up. THAT is why my heart was so heavy. It hit me more today than in the past that I have an obligation to suffer with, pray and lift up those who are in a dark place. Now my faith tells me that if I tried to do this alone, I would fail and become all consumed. So, I began praying and asking for strength. This evening before I started writing this piece, I was reading from the book of Psalms and found this passage and it is now hanging on my mirror in my bathroom for the next week where I will repeat it every time I see it…”Jesus heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3
This weekend I will be serving as a volunteer at the Outbound Movement event being sponsored by Crossroads Community Church, the International Justice Mission and several other organizations. This event is a weekend of prayer and education around social injustices and particularly child slavery. If you travel through downtown Cincinnati this weekend you may see over 500 teenagers and adults marching in prayer and unison over the Purple Bridge. They will be speaking for those who can’t and lifting up those who are weak and weary. If you see them…I hope you take the time to shout out a word of encouragement to these young people.
Right before I closed my Bible tonight, I played I game I sometimes like to test where I ask God if there is something he wants me to know or be reminded of then to show me that. So, I will close my Bible and then open it up and read whatever is on the page. Tonight, I really felt like God was speaking to me for this is the passage that leapt off the page…I kid you NOT! It is from the book of Isaiah 61: vs 2-3. It says, “He was sent to heal the broken hearted, and to proclaim liberty, freedom, to the captives. He was sent to comfort all who mourn, to give them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, and the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness.
While I now feel better, I know that this is not the time to become complacent but to put my armor on for this weekend because there are lots of children throughout this world that are being exploited and someone…me…needs to be in the trenches with them.
During the course of the trial, the family called on their community through various social media outlets and friends to come and surround them in court and share in their grief and stand in the trenches with them. The image of 45 plus strangers standing in court everyday with this family made me think of similar tragedies such as 911, the war in Iraq and the worldwide problem of children in slavery.
My heart is heavy because I know that I am called…no…we all are called to lift up and stand with those that are grieving or have been hurt by the social injustices of THIS world. WE must give them a voice and visibility in the face of those who wish to shut them up. THAT is why my heart was so heavy. It hit me more today than in the past that I have an obligation to suffer with, pray and lift up those who are in a dark place. Now my faith tells me that if I tried to do this alone, I would fail and become all consumed. So, I began praying and asking for strength. This evening before I started writing this piece, I was reading from the book of Psalms and found this passage and it is now hanging on my mirror in my bathroom for the next week where I will repeat it every time I see it…”Jesus heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3
This weekend I will be serving as a volunteer at the Outbound Movement event being sponsored by Crossroads Community Church, the International Justice Mission and several other organizations. This event is a weekend of prayer and education around social injustices and particularly child slavery. If you travel through downtown Cincinnati this weekend you may see over 500 teenagers and adults marching in prayer and unison over the Purple Bridge. They will be speaking for those who can’t and lifting up those who are weak and weary. If you see them…I hope you take the time to shout out a word of encouragement to these young people.
Right before I closed my Bible tonight, I played I game I sometimes like to test where I ask God if there is something he wants me to know or be reminded of then to show me that. So, I will close my Bible and then open it up and read whatever is on the page. Tonight, I really felt like God was speaking to me for this is the passage that leapt off the page…I kid you NOT! It is from the book of Isaiah 61: vs 2-3. It says, “He was sent to heal the broken hearted, and to proclaim liberty, freedom, to the captives. He was sent to comfort all who mourn, to give them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, and the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness.
While I now feel better, I know that this is not the time to become complacent but to put my armor on for this weekend because there are lots of children throughout this world that are being exploited and someone…me…needs to be in the trenches with them.
Monday, March 30, 2009
"Teaching With A Purpose"
As I dropped my daughter off at high school this morning, I began thinking about all the great teachers she has had over the past several years. I am not a teacher because I do not think I was blessed with the gift to educate young people on a daily basis but I am truly amazed and appreciative of those that are blessed with that gift....Yes…teaching is a gift. Now, my daughter is my joy. I love her so very much. She is talented, funny, beautiful and intelligent and I have always wanted the very best for her when it comes to her educational needs. Taylor has had so many teachers that have built into her, supported her, cheered her on and on many of occasions have even showed her mercy and grace when she may not have deserved it .
One teacher in particular comes to mind this year. Mr. Todd Forman teaches math at MND High School in Cincinnati. Now, Taylor has never cared much for math and she still does not do that well, but for the first time since she started learning to count, she actually never complains about going to math class. Mr. Forman allows my little drama queen to vent and cry to him about whatever is on her mind and doles out pretty good advice for a “guy.” Mr. Forman is more than just an individual who happened to choose being a teacher as his occupation and a way to earn a paycheck for his family.
Besides teaching our children, teachers also act as counselor’s and sometimes even parents to our children. I am confident that Mr. Forman has had to counsel students who are fighting over a boy or a girl (yes Taylor I am talking about you again) and has had to handle very confidential issues that students come to him with. I know for a fact based on the number of times this year Taylor has walked out of the house without her lunch that he has taken money out of his own pocket to make sure she has lunch so she can concentrate during her afternoon classes.
I believe teaching is not really 'just a job.' It is more like a crusade born of a real desire to help others. The rewards of a teacher more often than not come not in the form of a high salary but in the form of small and large victories accomplished by young people like Taylor who Mr. Forman has spent his life helping to educate. It is quite obvious to me that teaching and serving others is his passion. In his spare time…lol…he is very involved with taking youth on Service and Mission Trips and is active with Student Philanthropy Organization. He is not only teaching math but also teaching young people the importance of serving others. Mr. Forman actually lives in friendship and fellowship with his students.
I am sure there are teachers out there who may look at the occupation as just a job or something to do until a better offer comes along and not one of us could ever blame a teacher for those thoughts when we think about the plight of our kids today. It takes a person such as Mt. Notre Dame’s Mr. Forman who is willing to fill many roles for little pay; who knows all of the negatives of the profession and loves the job and the kids regardless! That is a teacher! And today, I want to say thank you to Mr. Forman and all the wonderful educators through the years who have taught my daughter, supported her and raised her up while encouraging her uniqueness and setting her on a path of purpose.
A scripture from the book of Romans says “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28. I encourage anyone reading this to thank a teacher today because they are truly loved and called for a purpose.
One teacher in particular comes to mind this year. Mr. Todd Forman teaches math at MND High School in Cincinnati. Now, Taylor has never cared much for math and she still does not do that well, but for the first time since she started learning to count, she actually never complains about going to math class. Mr. Forman allows my little drama queen to vent and cry to him about whatever is on her mind and doles out pretty good advice for a “guy.” Mr. Forman is more than just an individual who happened to choose being a teacher as his occupation and a way to earn a paycheck for his family.
Besides teaching our children, teachers also act as counselor’s and sometimes even parents to our children. I am confident that Mr. Forman has had to counsel students who are fighting over a boy or a girl (yes Taylor I am talking about you again) and has had to handle very confidential issues that students come to him with. I know for a fact based on the number of times this year Taylor has walked out of the house without her lunch that he has taken money out of his own pocket to make sure she has lunch so she can concentrate during her afternoon classes.
I believe teaching is not really 'just a job.' It is more like a crusade born of a real desire to help others. The rewards of a teacher more often than not come not in the form of a high salary but in the form of small and large victories accomplished by young people like Taylor who Mr. Forman has spent his life helping to educate. It is quite obvious to me that teaching and serving others is his passion. In his spare time…lol…he is very involved with taking youth on Service and Mission Trips and is active with Student Philanthropy Organization. He is not only teaching math but also teaching young people the importance of serving others. Mr. Forman actually lives in friendship and fellowship with his students.
I am sure there are teachers out there who may look at the occupation as just a job or something to do until a better offer comes along and not one of us could ever blame a teacher for those thoughts when we think about the plight of our kids today. It takes a person such as Mt. Notre Dame’s Mr. Forman who is willing to fill many roles for little pay; who knows all of the negatives of the profession and loves the job and the kids regardless! That is a teacher! And today, I want to say thank you to Mr. Forman and all the wonderful educators through the years who have taught my daughter, supported her and raised her up while encouraging her uniqueness and setting her on a path of purpose.
A scripture from the book of Romans says “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28. I encourage anyone reading this to thank a teacher today because they are truly loved and called for a purpose.
Friday, March 27, 2009
“I Want To Be A Model”….”For Good Character”
I am constantly trying to find those moments that I can share some grown-up wisdom with my daughter. I sometimes feel like the time is slipping away because in just a few short years she will be off to college and making decisions that will impact not jut her but those around her whom she chooses to share her time with. I think one lesson that is difficult to hear as a teenager is the lesson of character and what it means to your life. I am sure if you ask Taylor she can recite my words verbatim…but being able to share it without it sounding like a lecture takes lots of practice. What she is not old enough to realize yet is that I am talking as much to myself as I am to her. An anonymous author put the topic of character in such eloquent yet simple terms…"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny."
I believe character is something you build. Trustworthiness, respect, responsibility, fairness, caring and serving others are the character traits I am working hard to build into my daughter and to also live those traits out in my daily life. In essence, “Do the right thing when no one is looking.” All of us at one time or another have suffered in the strong character department whether your issue was cheating on a test, lying to your partner, or not respecting yourself. I see the defeated expression on Taylor’s face sometimes when she struggles in one or several of these areas that will shape who she ultimately becomes by the end of her life. These are the moments when I talk to her in a way that she can understand at 15 years of age. We talk about how important it is to really like and respect yourself and when you are making bad decisions like not finishing a project you have committed to, or you lie to your parents about something, or you put yourself in a situation that you know is not healthy… those actions can play with how you feel about yourself as an individual and how others feel about you or your “character.”
Personally, the best lesson I can ever give her is by simply modeling these traits for her in my own life. I am learning that Taylor makes better decisions when I just give her blanket trust over a situation, show her respect by complimenting her and building her up over the responsibility she took over a situation or her actions. She respects me more when I am fair or do not blame her carelessly and when I am modeling the caring and serving her and others. Although at 15 she does not have these all down, she has moments of brilliance in all these areas. I have even shared with her as recently as yesterday that a negative character trait is a positive character quality being misused and that God will often take our biggest weaknesses and turn them into our biggest strengths. ”That excites me and give me amazing hope for her future.
I also believe with all my heart because of my faith in God that life is simply preparing me for eternity and that God is more interested in my character formation than he is in my comfort. So when times are hard, I lean on Him and when they are good, I praise him. In everything I do, I thank him because he modeled all these character traits through his Son Jesus...
I believe character is something you build. Trustworthiness, respect, responsibility, fairness, caring and serving others are the character traits I am working hard to build into my daughter and to also live those traits out in my daily life. In essence, “Do the right thing when no one is looking.” All of us at one time or another have suffered in the strong character department whether your issue was cheating on a test, lying to your partner, or not respecting yourself. I see the defeated expression on Taylor’s face sometimes when she struggles in one or several of these areas that will shape who she ultimately becomes by the end of her life. These are the moments when I talk to her in a way that she can understand at 15 years of age. We talk about how important it is to really like and respect yourself and when you are making bad decisions like not finishing a project you have committed to, or you lie to your parents about something, or you put yourself in a situation that you know is not healthy… those actions can play with how you feel about yourself as an individual and how others feel about you or your “character.”
Personally, the best lesson I can ever give her is by simply modeling these traits for her in my own life. I am learning that Taylor makes better decisions when I just give her blanket trust over a situation, show her respect by complimenting her and building her up over the responsibility she took over a situation or her actions. She respects me more when I am fair or do not blame her carelessly and when I am modeling the caring and serving her and others. Although at 15 she does not have these all down, she has moments of brilliance in all these areas. I have even shared with her as recently as yesterday that a negative character trait is a positive character quality being misused and that God will often take our biggest weaknesses and turn them into our biggest strengths. ”That excites me and give me amazing hope for her future.
I also believe with all my heart because of my faith in God that life is simply preparing me for eternity and that God is more interested in my character formation than he is in my comfort. So when times are hard, I lean on Him and when they are good, I praise him. In everything I do, I thank him because he modeled all these character traits through his Son Jesus...
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
"Bring On The Rain"
As I walked outside today, My first thought as the wind was blowing and my umbrella turned inside out and offered no protection for my perfectly coiffed hair…lol…I could have been angry. But, instead after I laughed loud enough for people to think I was crazy, I thought about what the rain symbolizes this time of year. Like so many of us, I can definitely get a case of the winter blues at times. The constant state of gray and clouds is enough to push even the cheeriest person into a state of frowns worthy of botox.
So, I found a way to reconcile this cloudy, gray rainy day in my mind so that I can avoid additional frown lines and keep this day moving in a positive direction. In fact, when I went outside to go grab some lunch, I was able to take a deep breath and actually enjoy the smell of the rain as it fell on the grass and onto the trees and flowers that are beginning to blossom.
As I was thinking through my feelings on the rain, I got a text message from my friend Chad. He said, “I love this kind of rain.” I asked him why and he responded that it is like life beginning again. Flowers , trees and crops need the rain to grow. And, to be able to shift in the beautiful lushness that we picture spring bringing, we need the rain.
The Easter season ushers in spring. I visualize this time in my mind as being the season of rebirth and growth and I find this to be ironic in terms of thinking of Jesus and what he did for us during this time of year.
So, today I am thinking of the rain and accepting it full-on and embracing the “change” that comes with it. I am in perfect harmony with it in terms of my life knowing that this may very well be the perfect time to let go of the familiar and enter into a new season of my life. My personal challenge to myself is to don a new Easter outfit in the figurative sense. I am going to water and grow an underused side of myself. I am going to let go of the things in my life that are “dying” or are not producing fruit. For each of us, those things are different. It could be a bad relationship, a job that is not producing professional fruit, or simply a bad habit or an unaccomplished goal. It’s a new season friends….first order of business… a new umbrella!
So, I found a way to reconcile this cloudy, gray rainy day in my mind so that I can avoid additional frown lines and keep this day moving in a positive direction. In fact, when I went outside to go grab some lunch, I was able to take a deep breath and actually enjoy the smell of the rain as it fell on the grass and onto the trees and flowers that are beginning to blossom.
As I was thinking through my feelings on the rain, I got a text message from my friend Chad. He said, “I love this kind of rain.” I asked him why and he responded that it is like life beginning again. Flowers , trees and crops need the rain to grow. And, to be able to shift in the beautiful lushness that we picture spring bringing, we need the rain.
The Easter season ushers in spring. I visualize this time in my mind as being the season of rebirth and growth and I find this to be ironic in terms of thinking of Jesus and what he did for us during this time of year.
So, today I am thinking of the rain and accepting it full-on and embracing the “change” that comes with it. I am in perfect harmony with it in terms of my life knowing that this may very well be the perfect time to let go of the familiar and enter into a new season of my life. My personal challenge to myself is to don a new Easter outfit in the figurative sense. I am going to water and grow an underused side of myself. I am going to let go of the things in my life that are “dying” or are not producing fruit. For each of us, those things are different. It could be a bad relationship, a job that is not producing professional fruit, or simply a bad habit or an unaccomplished goal. It’s a new season friends….first order of business… a new umbrella!
Monday, March 23, 2009
"Teachable Moment"
I have often wondered what is it about major sporting events that make me cry. The Superbowl, the Olympics, my daughter’s cross country meets…I had the opportunity to really reflect on this over the weekend when I took my daughter to
Friday, March 20, 2009
"Be The Good"
Marcus Aurelius, who is considered to be the last of the five “good” Roman Emperors said, “Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be one.” Those words were spoken so many centuries ago but they are still true today. It is so easy to get caught up in the negativity of today’s world. All one has to do is turn on the television at any point during the 24 hour day and you can fill your mind with horrifying images and disappointing blurbs about the leaders running our country, sports figures or the CEO’s of our major fortune 500 firms. I could pontificate about these individuals but truly that would just be a diversion to what is truly the issue. There are those that would rather spend their time spinning negativity, gossiping, and throwing the proverbial first stone.
Maybe I am naïve but I prefer to believe that there is more good in this world than bad. I would rather spend my time talking about the individuals and stories that reflect the beautiful nature that I think exists in all of us in some way. Trust me, I know that experiences and how we are raised and the conditions that we are born into can deteriorate one’s outlook on life. But think of what kind of world this would be if “all” of us took a moment out of our day and did a kind act for someone less fortunate, and said a kind word to someone that needed it how many more positive stories there would be to tell. Or, if we gained our strength and hope by listening to and repeating the stories of people who have contributed so much to our world today. If bad news spreads like wildfire, doesn’t it make sense that good news would spread in the same manner?
This topic brings to mind a story from the Bible about Jesus and the prostitute. My minister told this story in very interesting way. He said he imagined Jesus with his back to the crowd of people that were in the process of beginning a “stoning” of a prostitute. Jesus kneeled down in the sand with a stick in his hand. My minister imagined Jesus, as he was talking to the crowd, writing the sins of everyone that was there in the sand for them to see. Then Jesus said, “Whoever is without sin, cast the first stone.” When he stood up and turned around, everyone was gone except for him and the prostitute.
My point, like Marcus Aurelius, is go out and be a good man or woman and don’t waste your time speaking of the sins and mistakes of others. Spread good news and not negativity. Speak life and not death into your marriage or into your friendships. Lift one another up instead of dragging each other down. Help someone carry their load when they are too weak to carry their own. Start small and make it a part of your everyday life and it is amazing how much better our world looks even if it is just our own small part of it.
Maybe I am naïve but I prefer to believe that there is more good in this world than bad. I would rather spend my time talking about the individuals and stories that reflect the beautiful nature that I think exists in all of us in some way. Trust me, I know that experiences and how we are raised and the conditions that we are born into can deteriorate one’s outlook on life. But think of what kind of world this would be if “all” of us took a moment out of our day and did a kind act for someone less fortunate, and said a kind word to someone that needed it how many more positive stories there would be to tell. Or, if we gained our strength and hope by listening to and repeating the stories of people who have contributed so much to our world today. If bad news spreads like wildfire, doesn’t it make sense that good news would spread in the same manner?
This topic brings to mind a story from the Bible about Jesus and the prostitute. My minister told this story in very interesting way. He said he imagined Jesus with his back to the crowd of people that were in the process of beginning a “stoning” of a prostitute. Jesus kneeled down in the sand with a stick in his hand. My minister imagined Jesus, as he was talking to the crowd, writing the sins of everyone that was there in the sand for them to see. Then Jesus said, “Whoever is without sin, cast the first stone.” When he stood up and turned around, everyone was gone except for him and the prostitute.
My point, like Marcus Aurelius, is go out and be a good man or woman and don’t waste your time speaking of the sins and mistakes of others. Spread good news and not negativity. Speak life and not death into your marriage or into your friendships. Lift one another up instead of dragging each other down. Help someone carry their load when they are too weak to carry their own. Start small and make it a part of your everyday life and it is amazing how much better our world looks even if it is just our own small part of it.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
"CHOICES"
Wickepedia defines the word "choice" as the mental process of thinking involved with the process of judging the merits of multiple options and selecting one of them for action. Choices or "free will" seems like a very liberating concept. I remember as a teenager thinking that I could not wait until I was 18 so I could make my own choices without interference from others. Now at the age of 40..almost 41 I see that this is not the case. People in my circle of influence do weigh in and I WELCOME it for in many cases if someone had not stepped in I could have made some choices that would have been detrimental not just for myself but others. Many times as of late, I find myself at a crossroads with my own teenager. I want her to make good choices but I know that this is not always possible. I personally have to make a choice of whether to step in so she can avoid making a bad choice or to let her make that choice and deal with the consequences. It really is a fine line. For me, the defining moment in my life came when I was 18. I was getting ready to leave for college and a series of things led me to really act out in a negative way. My stepfather's dad passed away whom I had grown close to. I was leaving home for the first time and my perception was no one seemed to care. Anyway, I was in a store and decided to stick a polo shirt in my purse. Now, I knew this was wrong and I think a small part of me knew I was going to get caught. I made a choice in that moment and for the first time I saw that my choice would have a lasting impact. The only person that knew about this at the time was my grandmother Ruth. I confided in her and she went to court with me where I had a public defender because I could not afford an attorney. The attorney weaved a great story on how I was a good student and I was leaving for college, etc. I was very lucky and paid a fine and went on my way. On that day I learned two lessons....one family is so important because they will always be there for you and two....I never stole again! Choices...good and bad shape us into who we are and in some ways can define us. I am so grateful that life is not fair. I am so humbled that God made a "choice" to sacrifice his son in a single act of mercy and grace. I believe God knows what good and bad choices I am going to make and my daughter is going to make and her daughter is going to make and so on....That he saw those choices and chose to give us the gift of "grace" through his Son. I love what John Wayne said shortly before his death. Yes John Wayne....I know you would not expect someone like me to quote John Wayne. I never really got into the plot of his movies but I always loved the sound of his voice. He spoke like someone that really gets it...He said, "Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight very clean. It's perfect when it arrives and puts itself in our hands. It hopes we've learned something from yesterday."
OK I do not intend to make this a serious blog all the time. It really is meant to share reflections and what is going on in general in my life and those close to me. In the coming weeks, I will be going to Mexico to love on some beautiful children and I will have lots to share when I return along with some beautiful pictures I am sure. In the meantime, I would love prayers for myself and my daughter Taylor about that trip.
On St. Patrick's Day, I had the opportunity to spend the evening with friends at a local pub and had an absolute blast. I have attached a couple of pics from that evening.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
March 18th - Day One
Technology is wonderful and scary all at the same time. I have wanted to learn more about this whole blogging concept for such a long time and the whole Facebook experience has only heightened my desire to share my thoughts and reflections with those that are close to me. I am so excited about the relationships that I have fostered through the years and the old friends that I am becoming reaquainted with. God has done so much in my life especially over the past year when I just spent a lot of time in a quiet place with Him to listen to what he has for my life. I had so much fear sorrounding life with a teenage daughter and the many ups and downs that relationship has. I had fear sorrounding the economy and whether I would be able to continue to provide for my family. I had fear around the prospect of spending the remainder of my life alone without someone to spend it with. Lots and lots of fear. Then, when I spent time alone with God, he began speaking to me about what he has for my life if I will just simply have faith and trust that he has me firmly in his grasp. There have been times in my life when I have yanked free of that hold but he continued to pursue me and now I never want to leave his side. Don't get me wrong, there are lots of temptations...now more than ever...but I know that even if I screw up...he still loves me and has a plan for my life. The fear has been replaced with hope and gratitude for all that I have that I do not deserve and all that is to come. I am seeing my daughter begin to thrive...lots of challenges there but definitely lots of improvement. Whenever I begin to feel that old feeling of fear...I am comforted by a verse from Isaiah 41 verse 10 and it goes as follows... do not fear, for I am with you, do not be afraid, for I am your God;I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my victorious right hand.
On a lighter note...Taylor went to the Mt. Notre Dame Daddy/Daughter Dance and had a fabulous time. It was so special for her to have that time with her dad...
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