"Teaching With A Purpose"

As I dropped my daughter off at high school this morning, I began thinking about all the great teachers she has had over the past several years. I am not a teacher because I do not think I was blessed with the gift to educate young people on a daily basis but I am truly amazed and appreciative of those that are blessed with that gift....Yes…teaching is a gift. Now, my daughter is my joy. I love her so very much. She is talented, funny, beautiful and intelligent and I have always wanted the very best for her when it comes to her educational needs. Taylor has had so many teachers that have built into her, supported her, cheered her on and on many of occasions have even showed her mercy and grace when she may not have deserved it .

One teacher in particular comes to mind this year. Mr. Todd Forman teaches math at MND High School in Cincinnati. Now, Taylor has never cared much for math and she still does not do that well, but for the first time since she started learning to count, she actually never complains about going to math class. Mr. Forman allows my little drama queen to vent and cry to him about whatever is on her mind and doles out pretty good advice for a “guy.” Mr. Forman is more than just an individual who happened to choose being a teacher as his occupation and a way to earn a paycheck for his family.

Besides teaching our children, teachers also act as counselor’s and sometimes even parents to our children. I am confident that Mr. Forman has had to counsel students who are fighting over a boy or a girl (yes Taylor I am talking about you again) and has had to handle very confidential issues that students come to him with. I know for a fact based on the number of times this year Taylor has walked out of the house without her lunch that he has taken money out of his own pocket to make sure she has lunch so she can concentrate during her afternoon classes.

I believe teaching is not really 'just a job.' It is more like a crusade born of a real desire to help others. The rewards of a teacher more often than not come not in the form of a high salary but in the form of small and large victories accomplished by young people like Taylor who Mr. Forman has spent his life helping to educate. It is quite obvious to me that teaching and serving others is his passion. In his spare time…lol…he is very involved with taking youth on Service and Mission Trips and is active with Student Philanthropy Organization. He is not only teaching math but also teaching young people the importance of serving others. Mr. Forman actually lives in friendship and fellowship with his students.

I am sure there are teachers out there who may look at the occupation as just a job or something to do until a better offer comes along and not one of us could ever blame a teacher for those thoughts when we think about the plight of our kids today. It takes a person such as Mt. Notre Dame’s Mr. Forman who is willing to fill many roles for little pay; who knows all of the negatives of the profession and loves the job and the kids regardless! That is a teacher! And today, I want to say thank you to Mr. Forman and all the wonderful educators through the years who have taught my daughter, supported her and raised her up while encouraging her uniqueness and setting her on a path of purpose.

A scripture from the book of Romans says “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28. I encourage anyone reading this to thank a teacher today because they are truly loved and called for a purpose.

“I Want To Be A Model”….”For Good Character”

I am constantly trying to find those moments that I can share some grown-up wisdom with my daughter. I sometimes feel like the time is slipping away because in just a few short years she will be off to college and making decisions that will impact not jut her but those around her whom she chooses to share her time with. I think one lesson that is difficult to hear as a teenager is the lesson of character and what it means to your life. I am sure if you ask Taylor she can recite my words verbatim…but being able to share it without it sounding like a lecture takes lots of practice. What she is not old enough to realize yet is that I am talking as much to myself as I am to her. An anonymous author put the topic of character in such eloquent yet simple terms…"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny."

I believe character is something you build. Trustworthiness, respect, responsibility, fairness, caring and serving others are the character traits I am working hard to build into my daughter and to also live those traits out in my daily life. In essence, “Do the right thing when no one is looking.” All of us at one time or another have suffered in the strong character department whether your issue was cheating on a test, lying to your partner, or not respecting yourself. I see the defeated expression on Taylor’s face sometimes when she struggles in one or several of these areas that will shape who she ultimately becomes by the end of her life. These are the moments when I talk to her in a way that she can understand at 15 years of age. We talk about how important it is to really like and respect yourself and when you are making bad decisions like not finishing a project you have committed to, or you lie to your parents about something, or you put yourself in a situation that you know is not healthy… those actions can play with how you feel about yourself as an individual and how others feel about you or your “character.”

Personally, the best lesson I can ever give her is by simply modeling these traits for her in my own life. I am learning that Taylor makes better decisions when I just give her blanket trust over a situation, show her respect by complimenting her and building her up over the responsibility she took over a situation or her actions. She respects me more when I am fair or do not blame her carelessly and when I am modeling the caring and serving her and others. Although at 15 she does not have these all down, she has moments of brilliance in all these areas. I have even shared with her as recently as yesterday that a negative character trait is a positive character quality being misused and that God will often take our biggest weaknesses and turn them into our biggest strengths. ”That excites me and give me amazing hope for her future.

I also believe with all my heart because of my faith in God that life is simply preparing me for eternity and that God is more interested in my character formation than he is in my comfort. So when times are hard, I lean on Him and when they are good, I praise him. In everything I do, I thank him because he modeled all these character traits through his Son Jesus...

"Bring On The Rain"

As I walked outside today, My first thought as the wind was blowing and my umbrella turned inside out and offered no protection for my perfectly coiffed hair…lol…I could have been angry. But, instead after I laughed loud enough for people to think I was crazy, I thought about what the rain symbolizes this time of year. Like so many of us, I can definitely get a case of the winter blues at times. The constant state of gray and clouds is enough to push even the cheeriest person into a state of frowns worthy of botox.

So, I found a way to reconcile this cloudy, gray rainy day in my mind so that I can avoid additional frown lines and keep this day moving in a positive direction. In fact, when I went outside to go grab some lunch, I was able to take a deep breath and actually enjoy the smell of the rain as it fell on the grass and onto the trees and flowers that are beginning to blossom.

As I was thinking through my feelings on the rain, I got a text message from my friend Chad. He said, “I love this kind of rain.” I asked him why and he responded that it is like life beginning again. Flowers , trees and crops need the rain to grow. And, to be able to shift in the beautiful lushness that we picture spring bringing, we need the rain.

The Easter season ushers in spring. I visualize this time in my mind as being the season of rebirth and growth and I find this to be ironic in terms of thinking of Jesus and what he did for us during this time of year.

So, today I am thinking of the rain and accepting it full-on and embracing the “change” that comes with it. I am in perfect harmony with it in terms of my life knowing that this may very well be the perfect time to let go of the familiar and enter into a new season of my life. My personal challenge to myself is to don a new Easter outfit in the figurative sense. I am going to water and grow an underused side of myself. I am going to let go of the things in my life that are “dying” or are not producing fruit. For each of us, those things are different. It could be a bad relationship, a job that is not producing professional fruit, or simply a bad habit or an unaccomplished goal. It’s a new season friends….first order of business… a new umbrella!

"Teachable Moment"

I have often wondered what is it about major sporting events that make me cry. The Superbowl, the Olympics, my daughter’s cross country meets…I had the opportunity to really reflect on this over the weekend when I took my daughter to Columbus to watch her classmates play for their fourth consecutive state basketball championship. Of course, I cried there as well. Now for you men that are reading this…I am not some emotional “chick”…I am a competitor and can be a very fierce one…thank you very much. I think it is actually because I am a competitor in just about every area of my life is the reason I cry. For example, I understand that the 3 young ladies on the Mt. Notre Dame basketball team that are seniors sacrificed much to be able to obtain that honor. They had to give up other extracurriculars. They had to keep their grades up to be able to play. They had to miss many parties. They had to work out year-round. They sacrificed much and their win was not just for them. Their win brought happiness to an entire community of students and parents. I sometimes feel sorry for athletes and entertainers because they have this label of role model put on them that they may not have asked for but by the virtue of their talent that is what they become to so many. That is a lot of pressure on a young person. I talk to my daughter about this all the time. She is a great athlete and puts very little into it and she is a singer worthy of any reality show and does not practice nearly enough for someone that wants to make that her career. After Saturdays game, the ride home was a great teachable moment about hard work, sacrifice, making good choices and the ultimate payoff. Of course, I had to get all that in before the allotted 15 minute attention span expired. And to think, we almost did not go to the game. Next year with hope and a prayer of good choices made, grades at an acceptable level, and hard work MND will make another run for State. But, just as important my daughter witnessed what it takes to be a champion and at this very moment is getting her six miles in. GO MND! Definitely worth the tears.

"Be The Good"

Marcus Aurelius, who is considered to be the last of the five “good” Roman Emperors said, “Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be one.” Those words were spoken so many centuries ago but they are still true today. It is so easy to get caught up in the negativity of today’s world. All one has to do is turn on the television at any point during the 24 hour day and you can fill your mind with horrifying images and disappointing blurbs about the leaders running our country, sports figures or the CEO’s of our major fortune 500 firms. I could pontificate about these individuals but truly that would just be a diversion to what is truly the issue. There are those that would rather spend their time spinning negativity, gossiping, and throwing the proverbial first stone.



Maybe I am naïve but I prefer to believe that there is more good in this world than bad. I would rather spend my time talking about the individuals and stories that reflect the beautiful nature that I think exists in all of us in some way. Trust me, I know that experiences and how we are raised and the conditions that we are born into can deteriorate one’s outlook on life. But think of what kind of world this would be if “all” of us took a moment out of our day and did a kind act for someone less fortunate, and said a kind word to someone that needed it how many more positive stories there would be to tell. Or, if we gained our strength and hope by listening to and repeating the stories of people who have contributed so much to our world today. If bad news spreads like wildfire, doesn’t it make sense that good news would spread in the same manner?


This topic brings to mind a story from the Bible about Jesus and the prostitute. My minister told this story in very interesting way. He said he imagined Jesus with his back to the crowd of people that were in the process of beginning a “stoning” of a prostitute. Jesus kneeled down in the sand with a stick in his hand. My minister imagined Jesus, as he was talking to the crowd, writing the sins of everyone that was there in the sand for them to see. Then Jesus said, “Whoever is without sin, cast the first stone.” When he stood up and turned around, everyone was gone except for him and the prostitute.



My point, like Marcus Aurelius, is go out and be a good man or woman and don’t waste your time speaking of the sins and mistakes of others. Spread good news and not negativity. Speak life and not death into your marriage or into your friendships. Lift one another up instead of dragging each other down. Help someone carry their load when they are too weak to carry their own. Start small and make it a part of your everyday life and it is amazing how much better our world looks even if it is just our own small part of it.

"CHOICES"

Wickepedia defines the word "choice" as the mental process of thinking involved with the process of judging the merits of multiple options and selecting one of them for action. Choices or "free will" seems like a very liberating concept. I remember as a teenager thinking that I could not wait until I was 18 so I could make my own choices without interference from others. Now at the age of 40..almost 41 I see that this is not the case. People in my circle of influence do weigh in and I WELCOME it for in many cases if someone had not stepped in I could have made some choices that would have been detrimental not just for myself but others. Many times as of late, I find myself at a crossroads with my own teenager. I want her to make good choices but I know that this is not always possible. I personally have to make a choice of whether to step in so she can avoid making a bad choice or to let her make that choice and deal with the consequences. It really is a fine line. For me, the defining moment in my life came when I was 18. I was getting ready to leave for college and a series of things led me to really act out in a negative way. My stepfather's dad passed away whom I had grown close to. I was leaving home for the first time and my perception was no one seemed to care. Anyway, I was in a store and decided to stick a polo shirt in my purse. Now, I knew this was wrong and I think a small part of me knew I was going to get caught. I made a choice in that moment and for the first time I saw that my choice would have a lasting impact. The only person that knew about this at the time was my grandmother Ruth. I confided in her and she went to court with me where I had a public defender because I could not afford an attorney. The attorney weaved a great story on how I was a good student and I was leaving for college, etc. I was very lucky and paid a fine and went on my way. On that day I learned two lessons....one family is so important because they will always be there for you and two....I never stole again! Choices...good and bad shape us into who we are and in some ways can define us. I am so grateful that life is not fair. I am so humbled that God made a "choice" to sacrifice his son in a single act of mercy and grace. I believe God knows what good and bad choices I am going to make and my daughter is going to make and her daughter is going to make and so on....That he saw those choices and chose to give us the gift of "grace" through his Son. I love what John Wayne said shortly before his death. Yes John Wayne....I know you would not expect someone like me to quote John Wayne. I never really got into the plot of his movies but I always loved the sound of his voice. He spoke like someone that really gets it...He said, "Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight very clean. It's perfect when it arrives and puts itself in our hands. It hopes we've learned something from yesterday."

OK I do not intend to make this a serious blog all the time. It really is meant to share reflections and what is going on in general in my life and those close to me. In the coming weeks, I will be going to Mexico to love on some beautiful children and I will have lots to share when I return along with some beautiful pictures I am sure. In the meantime, I would love prayers for myself and my daughter Taylor about that trip.

On St. Patrick's Day, I had the opportunity to spend the evening with friends at a local pub and had an absolute blast. I have attached a couple of pics from that evening.

March 18th - Day One

Technology is wonderful and scary all at the same time. I have wanted to learn more about this whole blogging concept for such a long time and the whole Facebook experience has only heightened my desire to share my thoughts and reflections with those that are close to me. I am so excited about the relationships that I have fostered through the years and the old friends that I am becoming reaquainted with. God has done so much in my life especially over the past year when I just spent a lot of time in a quiet place with Him to listen to what he has for my life. I had so much fear sorrounding life with a teenage daughter and the many ups and downs that relationship has. I had fear sorrounding the economy and whether I would be able to continue to provide for my family. I had fear around the prospect of spending the remainder of my life alone without someone to spend it with. Lots and lots of fear. Then, when I spent time alone with God, he began speaking to me about what he has for my life if I will just simply have faith and trust that he has me firmly in his grasp. There have been times in my life when I have yanked free of that hold but he continued to pursue me and now I never want to leave his side. Don't get me wrong, there are lots of temptations...now more than ever...but I know that even if I screw up...he still loves me and has a plan for my life. The fear has been replaced with hope and gratitude for all that I have that I do not deserve and all that is to come. I am seeing my daughter begin to thrive...lots of challenges there but definitely lots of improvement. Whenever I begin to feel that old feeling of fear...I am comforted by a verse from Isaiah 41 verse 10 and it goes as follows... do not fear, for I am with you, do not be afraid, for I am your God;I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my victorious right hand.

On a lighter note...Taylor went to the Mt. Notre Dame Daddy/Daughter Dance and had a fabulous time. It was so special for her to have that time with her dad...