“PLEASE GIVE ME SOME C-C-C-COURAGE”

I have been thinking with great intensity about the one word I pray people use to describe me when I leave this world. The word that comes to mind is courageous. Usually when this word is used, it describes some wonderful story of courage that one experiences. I found myself feeling discouraged that this really does not apply to me at this point in my life. I have never gone off to war to fight for my country. I have never saved a life or done anything so courageous that it would merit ever being mentioned. This realization for anyone could bring about feelings of depression or insignificance. But, I am a “cup half full” kinda gal. So, I began to think about courage in other ways and how I have lived out the word courage in my life. Identifying areas of courageous growth needed is well….courageous in and of itself. I have come to the stark realization that every single one of us can live a life of courage in some very measurable ways.

As I started reflecting on this novel approach to courage, I found myself growing quite excited. I thought about the areas of my life where I have dared to be courageous on a daily basis. One glaring area is the courage to be who I am or more precisely who God created me to be. This world has every day pressures to conform, so it takes a great amount of courage to NOT be “of this world”. I try very hard everyday to express myself in a genuine way while being humble and unpretentious.

Another area where I have seen significant growth in my life is through my courage to say NO. Saying the word NO is as difficult if not more than hearing the word NO. But, sometimes we even need to say no to the good in order to make room for the great. Saying no when I need to is never easy as by nature I am a pleaser, but the price I have paid in my past for not doing so far exceeds any momentary discomfort. The courage to let go many times goes hand-in-hand with the courage to say NO. Because I put myself through college, have worked since the ripe old age of twelve, have raised a child virtually on my own; the need to control has in the past, been paramount to my existence. However, through my growing faith in things I cannot see, I have learned to lean on the peace of mind that comes only from giving my best to all situations while at the same time detaching myself from the outcome knowing that everything in life has a purpose. I try with unfailing persistence to put my faith in the creator that created me. I have embraced the knowledge that who I am is not defined by the outcome of my works. Giving up resisting what you cannot control and going with, rather than against, helps me to stay in the present. Finding the courage to let go almost never hurts my ability to achieve. In fact, I have found that when I give up control my ability to achieve and grow is enhanced.

The courage to be a leader is an area in my life that I have struggled with for all of my 42 years. When I was younger, my desire to be a leader was really spurred by the desire to be popular or to move up the financial ladder of life that this world seems to place so much emphasis on. Once I found the courage to be who I am and to learn to let go and to say NO when I was called to, I realized that being a leader is not a position…it is a choice. Everyday we are presented with opportunities to lead and move others in a direction that they otherwise may not have gone. By choosing a path of integrity, personal responsibility, and taking the time to listen and challenge others and ourselves, your light will shine with a brightness that others will find hard not to follow. It is my prayer that God will continue to work with me to be a courageous leader. I am led to believe and embrace that it is through courageous leadership that we can lead others towards a future filled with possibilities. An existence filled with no war, no starvation, nor horrendous acts of violence towards women and children. Instead, a future filled with love and grace.

Hands down, the area of my life where I have had the most difficulty and arguably have suffered the greatest is in the matters of the heart. God has gently and lovingly guided me and sometimes persistently poked and prodded me when needed… to find the courage to open my heart fully. I have spent a large portion of my life throwing up walls around myself so that I will not get hurt and as a result I have hurt others and ultimately pained the part of me I was trying to avoid being injured…my heart. God is teaching me and blessing me at this stage in my life because I am finally finding the courage to listen and open my heart. Life's richest fulfillment comes from being as open to experiencing pain as deeply as its joy. By letting down my defenses and dropping the concrete barriers I placed around myself which only proved to isolate me from others and by allowing myself to be vulnerable to the anguish that life can sometimes bring… I am now beginning to experience the joy that comes from connecting with others openly, intimately and compassionately. Nothing is more courageous than the ability to know, love, care for and connect not just with others but also with the creator that wants nothing more than for me to live a life of courage.