“SECOND CHANCES X INFINITY”

What a relief that I worship the God of second chances!

If there's one truth that's indisputable about human beings, it's that we have an infinite capacity to mess up. I am no exception to that rule.

But even more infinite than our ability to sin is God's desire to forgive us. For those of us who have accepted Christ as our Savior, that means God will forgive us every time we ask.

Maybe you've failed at something in life, and you think that dream is lost. I can tell you, though, from my own experience, that I serve the God of second chances. Right now I'm on my 65th or 75th chance. Or is it 375th chance? I lost track about 25 years ago--and I thank God every day for not keeping score.

I can honestly say I did not get my independence from my mother…I got it in spite of her. Her life choices made me recoil at the traditional idea of marrying young and raising a family. Although I did marry at 26 and again briefly at 39…I have lived most of my adult life as what my friends and I call being a serial monogamist. But it was my spirited curiosity that made me keep all of those relationships at arm’s length letting them get only so close to me.

Something happened in late 2003…I met a man and fell probably for the first time…very much in love. I won’t go into the details of how things started but I will tell you I carried a lot of guilt about it and ultimately did the hard work to get past it…both of us did. However, that guilt and other “Christy issues” led me to walk away from him and even marry another that was not even close to being the man I am sure God intended for me. I ran from the only person that challenged me, loved me, and pursued me for the greater good. I ran out of fear, guilt and downright self-hatred. And…I suffered dearly for it.

As a result, I had to go back to basics. I asked my God for forgiveness and I received it. I began the process of being accountable and vulnerable to those closest to me. And mercifully, even in the midst of bad decisions, God brought people into my life at just the right times to build into me and speak truth.

Now we are almost in the year 2012 and I can see that even though I walked away from what I believe to be the right life partner for me, I am now a better person and am able to be present and committed. And….I am excited and blessed to be in the midst of an exciting adventure of second chances with Mr. 2003! This man that I hurt so deeply to the point that I thought the emotional walls were to high to ever break down has slowly and purposefully given me a second chance. And I have slowly and consistently shown him that I believe he is my person. I don’t know where it may go but I do know that love is an act of self-giving. The more you love, the more you lose a part of that spirited curiosity of independence but I would argue mostly out of hope and faith that with God’s help you end up being complete.

I now more than ever before see God realistically. I see Him mending my disappointment. I see Him running out to meet me, giving me another chance, just like the father of the prodigal son. I put my hope and faith in that and it helps me in so many other areas of my life.

No one’s life is wrecked for good. The most loving, powerful being in the universe wants to heal it, and he does have the power and creativity to do just that.