SUCCESS ..."And The First Shall Be Last and the Last First"

I was talking with a good friend of mine last night and we began talking about success and how people view success differently. I have actually been working on this piece for a few weeks but couldn’t quite put the finishing touches on my thoughts until now. SUCCESS…how people view success is an important question for me to ask when I am beginning to engage with people because it gives a pretty accurate view of where that person is in their journey and the things that are important to them. I like to ask questions like, “How do YOU measure your own success?” It always leads to a pretty interesting discussion and is a great ice-breaker at a dinner party….there is nothing like putting someone on the hot seat right away! I have heard people describe success as the balance in their bank account, and how their peers recognize them. Some describe success as how successful their children turn out.

In recent years, I have been of the opinion that success is multi-determined. I think in order to achieve success you first have to be authentic and live your life from that place while always striving to be better. Ralph Waldo Emerson said it best, “Insist on yourself. Never imitate.” Being authentic means living from a platform where you will stand up for an ideal, or act to improve the lives of others, or strike out against injustice. I believe at least at this point of my 41 year old life that my most important contribution to the world might be being who I am… and that is caring, kind, civil, decent, and a hopeful woman, friend, mother and partner. I believe that these ideals come from the person most important in my life, My Father…God! I also believe that these traits are a part of my calling from God.

I used to have these grand ideals on how I wanted to make an impact on the world and then I would consider myself successful. I wanted to change things for the better, improve lives, leave behind something positive. And yet, with the vastness of this world, and the number of people out there that will resist change … it seems impossible at times that I would ever have a big impact on this world. How can one person make an impact on the world? How can those of us who aren’t in the circle of influencers such as elected officials or influential media types effect change? It can be very overwhelming like how I feel when I am sitting by the ocean. It’s like dropping all those efforts into the ocean — the overall effect is …unnoticeable. However, I now tend to view success one life at a time. Taking those same “ocean efforts” and concentrating them in the right place can make an impact..

I am fairly certain there are many of us who would like to make an impact on the world, in some way or another. I now believe it happens one life at a time and one interaction at a time. Perhaps you can remember an interaction with someone who made you feel really good about yourself. They made you feel respected, valued, and understood. Now try to remember a time when someone's words or actions made you feel bad about yourself. You may have felt insulted or alienated.

Do you think about how others feel about themselves after they speak with you? You should. Because what you say and do impacts the way people feel about themselves. How people feel after interacting with you on a first encounter is especially important, because it will impact how they feel about you, at that moment and perhaps permanently. It’s pretty elementary actually -- If you make people feel understood and happy, they may project that good feeling onto you and feel positively about you. However, if you inadvertently insult them or make them feel ill at ease, they may project inaccurate negative traits onto you. At the very least, they will associate their good or bad feelings with you. One sentence, one idea, or one action can make a massive impact. You never know who will be touched. Confirmation from this can come from bumping into someone you helped years earlier. New doors may open after years of knocking. However, be prepared that you also may never truly know the full extent of your impact so have other reasons to do what you do.

SUCCESS…from a biblical standpoint, it is important to know that God doesn’t call us to be successful, but to be faithful. If we measure our acts by terms of success, we can get really discouraged real fast, because there will always be someone more successful in the world’s eyes. God created each of us unique and with a mission and calling. In Ephesians 2:10, He say’s, “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which he prepared in advance for us to do!” True success in His Kingdom is being faithful to that calling he gives us, especially in the face of even the worst discouragement.

Our culture of course defines success as being a little better than everyone else. As a Christ follower, I know this is not true because Jesus said that the first shall be last, and the last shall be first! In his message to the churches, Jesus does not ever mention the “success” of their church or what a great fire and brimstone sermon was delivered by their dynamic pastor or even how awesome their Sunday school program is. He never mentions that he know’s their faith…He says “I know your works.” As a lover of Christ and all He did for me, my works will determine my success in God's eyes and the faith that is truly in my heart. If we are faithful, our works will glorify Him daily and the impact will be AMAZING. And their in lies how I determine SUCCESS!

"Thanks In All Things"

Thanksgiving… For me personally, the word Thanksgiving speaks to the evolution of my life. There was a day when Thanksgiving was merely a holiday break from school or a day where I could relax and have great food with friends or family. However, the word Thanksgiving now speaks to me as not just a secular holiday but an opportunity to make giving to others and giving thanks a daily event in my life. After all, kindness, thoughtfulness and consideration are all by-products of heartfelt thanksgiving. The actual day of “Thanksgiving” will serve as a reminder to me that I need to be thankful in all things… and that means every day of the year!

The challenging part of finding thankfulness in “all” things is that not all things at the time seem like something I should be giving thanks for. For example, it sounds funny to me to say Thank you God for that unexpected car problem I suffered last week. Instead, I say thank you God for providing the means and allowing me to have the opportunity to cultivate relationships with people that can help me get that pesky little car problem taken care of.

In a different vein, the holiday can be a difficult time if you are in a season of loss, sickness, financial hardship or transition in your life. When we have lost someone special in our life whether it’s due to divorce or death, the holiday season can be a painful reminder of how terrible you are feeling instead of bringing warmth, love, and excitement. The holidays are especially significant because they are familiar signs of tradition and memories. They seem to have a way of filling our memories with warm glimpses of good times shared with the people we have loved during our lives. Transitions are never easy, and there may well be days when all you want to do is hit the rewind button and put everything back to the way it was before. I have been through these difficult times and I can see it definitely involves taking little baby steps in order to adapt. I felt like the holidays would never be like I remembered them, but with a little patience, understanding and flexibility, I have learned to make the holidays hopeful again and even more wonderful than before… and for that reason alone, I am especially thankful.

I have found that successful and joyous people are usually very skilled at counting their blessings. They focus on what’s right about their life instead of what’s wrong. I'm thankful that God has given me the strength to meet the challenges that come with life. I’m thankful for each memory that my family and friends have given me. I’m thankful for having a profound understanding that it is more important to give than to receive. Theologian W.T. Purkiser said, “It is not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them is the true measure of thanksgiving. I am beyond thankful for having such wonderful and rewarding work during a time when many are not working. I am so thankful for my family, particularly my beautiful daughter, Taylor who keeps me laughing…and sometimes crying as she both spreads her wings and tests herself in this crazy world we live in. I am also so blessed and thankful for the wonderful circle of friends that make my life fun and meaningful.

This is the perfect time to pause and remember the intangibles that make this life so worth living, and to reconnect and find peace and warmth in that feeling of gratitude. For, as long as we are drawing breath, there is a genuine opportunity to GIVE…and to give THANKS!

"WEIGHTY ISSUES"

Ahhh…it feels so good to just sit down and be still and finally write. The past couple of months have been stressful, crazy, difficult and full of spiritual warfare. But at the same time there have been many blessings along the way as well. Blessings included a wonderful weekend with my beautiful daughter Taylor, a trip south to see my best friend Erin get married on the beach at sunset, a very awesome trip to Monterrey Mexico with the Back2Back staff, and friends just looking out for me in general.

This past week in particular, I have been giving much thought to what it means to walk in the light of Christ as a believer. In the past it was my nature to beat myself up when I sinned, fell away from Christ for a period of time, or just struggled with whether or not he was listening to me. This morning as I was spending some quite time just talking to God, I really felt like God was reminding me that there are definitely three voices and they all talk at the same time at various moments in my life. Those voices are my own, God’s and Satan’s. It was in that moment that I was reminded that I am a Christ follower. I have already accepted the gift of grace. I have already been forgiven for every nasty deed I have done or will do. I don’t have to beat myself up any longer. God already did that for me when he allowed his son to be nailed to that cross where so many other sinners like myself had gone before Him. In that moment at approximately 5:30 a.m. this morning, I felt like a heavy rock that was pinning me down had been rolled away. I even got on the scale and was 5 pounds lighter…J I have had some other thoughts too the past few months about my life as a believer in Jesus.

Further reflection has led me to to the thought that life doesn’t always turn out how we plan it. Often it seems to turn out almost exactly opposite of how we thought it would. The job you’ve worked so hard to get slips through your fingers. The relationship that seemed to be “it” disintegrates before your very eyes. The person that you thought you could always trust betrays you. Your dreams of being used by God in great ways never seem to materialize into the way you may have dreamed. When life doesn’t turn out how you have imagined, it can be painful and confusing. More than once I’ve looked at my own life and thought, “Lord, I don’t understand what you are doing here! This was not the plan!”

These days, many people I consider friends don’t claim to follow Jesus - a complete turnaround from the way life used to be when I first became a Christ follower. I’ve found that we have more in common than not, more similarities than differences. What I have learned about Jesus through these relationships especially as of late is more than I could learn from any book or sermon. I’ve learned that Jesus is a respecter of all persons. He loves “Steve” as much as He loves me. The same is true for all those I have come to know in the past year. I’ve always known it, but now I’ve seen it. I’ve lived it.

I am a sinner and a saint. I am wise and foolish. I am holy and impure. It is not my responsibility to convince the world of who Jesus is so that they will join the “good side.” It is not my responsibility to shame others with a pious perfection. However, it is my responsibility to journey through this life with others in such a way that Jesus is present here and now with them. That through me, they might be loved and discover they are loved by Him. That is really my only “job” as a Christ follower. Knowing that shall certainly take at least another 10 lbs. off that scale.

"I Love My Neighborhood"

The past few weeks at the church that I attend we have been walking through a series called, “I love Cincinnati.” This initially spurred some negative thinking on my part because I began thinking about all the “places” I love more than Cincinnati. As we have been reading about how God through Paul’s teachings call us to be City lovers, I was not quite connecting. To understand where I am coming from, I have to share a part of myself which requires an uncomfortable form of authenticity.

I told myself early on after my daughter was born 16 years ago that I only live in Cincinnati because this is where my child is. I admittedly have at some points in my past bashed our City for their lack of open-mindedness, vision, ability to get things done and offering very little in return for my observations. This is my failure.

If I am honest, there are many things about Cincinnati which I love and have passed on to my own daughter. Early on, I began exposing her to our very culturally rich arts community. I have taken her several times to every museum and most of the art galleries in Cincinnati and each time we have discovered something new. Most recently, I took her to an early showing of Reggie Calloway at the Blue Wisp Jazz Club. My daughter is a wonderfully talented musical artist and I have always exposed her to different genres of music so she has a very eclectic collection and appreciation of music. Of course every summer, we hit the church festival circuit and enjoy running into friends and acquaintances there. When she was younger, she enjoyed indulging my love of basketball by going to the Devereux Summer League basketball games which brought out the most wonderful display of college and NBA players meeting in a hot gym at Purcell Marian High School for the simple love of the game. She has painted her face for Bengals games and chanted the UC and XU chants. To my dismay, she prefers XU over UC. Taylor and I have traveled to many different neighborhoods around the City over the years and enjoyed what they had to offer…Price Hill Chili, Mt. Adams Fish House, and The Echo for breakfast every Sunday where Stephanie knows exactly what we order. Although I like to switch it up every now and then to throw her off.

So now you know the many ways we have enjoyed Cincinnati, but I want to take it a step farther. I believe “my neighborhood” is not just where I live. My neighborhood or community are the people I do life with. My close friends, the people I work with, my family, the lady that lives next door to me, the homeless person that I take to lunch, the orphan child that sits on my lap in Mexico, or the widow that I read to in our senior village.

In the book of Ephesians Chapter 4 vs 29-32 it says, “Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. And do not bring sorrow to God's Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”

To me, this means if as a neighborhood as I have defined it, band together and serve the needs of each other and our City then we are in effect City lovers and there is no end to what we can accomplish in making our City and our world a better place. It doesn’t mean you have to take on a huge project like rebuilding a dilapidated city block although we should. It means performing an act of kindness, picking up a piece of trash when you see it, mowing your elderly neighbors lawn, volunteering to help a child learn to read, spending time building into a close friend. All of these things will help you “love your neighborhood.” Your neighborhood can be carried with you anywhere you live or travel.


Henry Wadworth Lonfellow said, “I have an affection for a great city. I feel safe in the neighborhood of man, and enjoy the sweet security of the streets. It sounds to me like Henry did his part and truly loved his neighborhood and his neighborhood loved him back.

Submission...NO....NOT A Dirty Word"

Submission has never ever….. ever been my strong point. In fact I can confidently say that it is an area of my life that God has been challenging me to get on board with for a very long time.

In my journey through life, I have pushed the envelope and broken most of the rules. The question I have asked myself and want very much to ask my daughter when I see her breaking the rules is did I find the freedom, excitement, and fulfillment I was looking for? There were certainly some thrilling times, but freedom, fulfillment, success, happiness, life at it's best... not even close.

Yes….sin is like being lactose intolerant…eating a delicious scoop of Graeters Black Raspberry Chip Ice Cream and then promptly feeling it sour in your stomach 30 minutes later! It taste’s great going down but OMG don’t come too close afterwords. My lack of submission to God, my parents, those in leadership positions and even my former husband didn't bring any of the sweetness… just brokenness, frustration, anger, hurt, confusion, resentment, and a number of other consequences which I don’t even want to think about.

I have learned that my definition of submitting to authority and God’s definition is… SURPRISE….very different. God’s definition of submission is to voluntarily arrange yourself under authority. When we do that, we cooperate with that leader, we are to help carry the responsibility and the load. The goal is to ultimately accomplish a much larger work than you could do on your own.

I always viewed submission as being weak or somehow being in bondage to people or situations I did not want to be enslaved by. I have always been very independent and always thought I knew exactly what I wanted and always was under the distinct impression that I not GOD was in control. Thank goodness HE never gave up on me and put just the right people in my life at key times to speak the truth in love.

For example, I have the great privilege to work with followers of Christ everyday who are submitting to not just God’s authority over their lives but they are also submitting to one another to accomplish the goal of carrying out God’s orders regarding the poor, and children that have been abandoned and don’t have the same opportunities to just a high school education that most of us have had. I am in awe of the fine people that I work with every single day and the sacrifices that they make in order for our world to be a better place and to carry out God’s plan.

I am learning how to submit to authority every single day and am actively seeking out situations to submit by simply being an active listener to those in need and speaking God’s truth to them, by praying over those that need prayer at any given time, and by not rebelling when God is clearly trying to tell me something.

I have finally begun to realize that when I submit to God and live my life the way He intended, I get the best results and experience life in a way I couldn’t be more thankful for. As I continue to apply God's truth of submission to the other areas of my life I know I will find peace, excitement, love, joy, and all the things I've been wanting for my life all along. When I submit to authority I am under God’s covering….no better place to be!

"Passion and Calling In A Changing World"

I have spent the last year really focusing on what God is saying to me about my calling in this world. I have to admit my twist on this posting has changed somewhat based on a conversation we have been having amongst our staff about our changing world.

Our world is no longer separate…it is becoming more and more like one BIG community. As a believer in Christ and specifically a growing believer I know that it is my job to minister to non-Christians and even growing Christians like myself. My passion as most of you know is the orphan child. Having the opportunity to minister to young people starting at a very early age is key not to just raising up amazing kids into wonderful, productive Christian adults but it also ensures that God’s word does not get lost in an ever changing world where Christianity could very well get “lost” if fellow Christians are not bold in their faith and speak out about our Wonderful God.

Our world is changing significantly. For example, The US is not growing at the same rate as Europe. Statistics show that in our children’s lifetime, Europe will move from a Christian nation to a Muslim nation just based on sheer numbers alone as they reproduce at a rate of 8.1. Now I realize I am broaching a very sensitive subject and I am going to come at it from a very different angle than most. I have many friends that are Muslim…some practice their faith and some are Christians. I am definitely an individual who has friends from all walks of life, race, religion, cultures etc. I enjoy meeting people from all walks of faith at all different levels because it gives me an OPPORTUNITY to speak about my father “God”.

Christians should be using their time here on earth as an opportunity to act as Jesus did amongst his disciples. When Jesus chose his disciples they came from all different life experiences and cultural backgrounds. That made them quite the motley crew. I don’t think they would have been confirmed in any modern day Senate Hearing. Even as followers of Christ, isn’t that how we are? Imperfect… sometimes unfaithful and even a bit rebellious at times? But those flaws should give us the perfect platform to speak to non-Christians. It should give us the chance to speak about our walk to become more like Jesus. And the wonderful thing is you don’t have to go all the way to Mexico, Africa or India to do this. Look around you….there are people from all over the world living right here in the good ole USA. There are many orphan children, homeless people and lost individuals with families to minister to about the plan that Jesus has for their life.

Even though my “passion” is to minister to kids…I know that as a believer in God, He has called me to minister to all. I am thoroughly convinced that is why He wired me with a “load” of tolerance, love, affection, discernment and humility. My challenge to you is not to confuse your passion with your calling. It doesn’t mean they cannot be married to each other but as a Christian we have the ‘CALLING” to minister to all non-believers and to be BOLD in our faith and GOD will give us the GLORY STRENGTH like that which we can never muster up on our own to deliver His word and His hope for His world.

From the Book of Deuteronomy we are called to “Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid...for the Lord thy God, will go with you; he will not fail you, nor forsake you.

"OF THIS WORLD....I THINK NOT"

Father, Daddy, Holy One, Heavenly Father, Worthy, Peace, Joy, Grace, Mercy, Thankfulness, Wisdom, Forgiveness.

I went to Wednesday night service last night and during prayer, those in attendance were throwing out words they thought of when thinking of God. After I had the chance to let the evening and my day in general sink in, I had so many thoughts that were running rampid in my mind.

First and foremost, I had the opportunity to have lunch with an old college friend of mine. The person’s name is not important but the journey both he and I have been on is. I can only speak to my experience and what little I know of his. What I can affirm is that for many years the ways of my life were not the ways God had in store for me. Nor were they for my friend. One thing I knew way back in the day was that my friend had so many great ideas but really had not leaned on anyone but himself and those that were not good for him to get those ideas implemented. This friend I speak of, I am even more proud to know than ever. And I think he feels the same about me as well because we continue to learn and build into each other…only now it is done through Christ and not the ways of this world. Like me, he has an incredible passion for our youth and the orphan child. He has an incredible talent for speaking truth by using his experiences in such a vulnerable way that you can’t help but become passionate about the things that God has placed on his heart and how God is using him to minister to our youth. So, suffice it to say my afternoon was incredibly blessed. Never in a million years would I have thought that God could take our brokenness and our sinfulness and put us across the table from each other 20 years later and we would be praying in the middle of Panera for each other….AMAZING and HUMBLING!

God had much to teach me yesterday...I followed up that very blessed lunch appointment with an evening of worship, communion and reflection. During Communion, people had the opportunity to speak to our band members if they felt like God was telling them something in the midst of prayer. Our worship team took these thoughts and right there on stage wrote a song. We sang it as a congregation and it turned out to be a beautiful, heartfelt song to God.

Part of my journey is how God has used my problems and sinful nature in my life to build my character and bring me closer in relationship to him. It is all part of the journey. He has used my walk in life to direct me, inspect me, correct me, protect me and perfect me. This is a never ending act of love. I can rest in peace knowing that he will continue to do these things for me to bring me closer to him. I know this because it is PROMISED!

One of my favorite verses in the Bible comes from the book of Romans 5:3-4. It says "We can rejoice when we run into problems... they help us learn to be patient. And patience develops strength of character in us and helps us trust God more each time we use it until finally our hope and faith are strong and steady."

My relationship with God and my character is all I will be taking with me when I leave this world…I think about that a lot and when I do everything else seems so “OF THIS WORLD.”