I must admit that over the past few months, I have not been walking my gratitude talk. I have been lost in my proverbial “own bad neighborhood.” Now many may understand the reason for this given that over the course of the past 6 weeks I lost my job due to closure of our Ohio office. I know this has happened to so many of us over the last few years, but for me this is the first time since I was 12 years of age that I have been without a job. Rightly or wrongly, I have defined myself by my work. I have worked so hard to climb the corporate ladder and have achieved much success and have always thought of myself as grateful. Being without a job has caused me to hyper-focus on areas of my life and relationships with other people that I have no control over. It is almost as if I have made that my full-time job to change what is not within my power. This has led me down a path that has brought me much unhappiness and anxiety.
Over the course of the past few days, I have had very relevant and spirit driven conversations with people that I respect and have nothing to gain from speaking truth to my heart. My emotional bank was literally empty and over the course of a few days has been completely filled and I am feeling a new sense of purpose. These conversations centered around my worth as a person not as someone with a great career. I was told that I am loved by God and that HE wants me to be successful in serving HIM and that I need to be still and hear what he has to say. It was reiterated to me that I am a game-changer to any relationship…personal or professional. I was told that I am beautiful on the inside and the outside and that God continues to have a plan for my life in ways that will far exceed anything I could ever imagine if I will just open my mind to it. Keep in mind my friends, these are all things that I speak to others in their time of need but the moment crisis fell upon me, I did not walk my talk.
These conversations brought me to a place where I started thinking about what it means to be grateful and to live it. Times of crisis, I believe, can make us more grateful—but I also think that gratitude also helps us cope with crisis. When we consciously are cultivating an attitude of gratitude we build up a sort of psychological immune system that can cushion us when we fall. There is evidence that grateful people are more resilient to stress, whether minor everyday hassles or major personal upheavals. Now this is what I believe to be true but for the past several weeks I willingly stripped myself of all knowledge on this subject. I began focusing on what is missing in my life and what has gone wrong.
Gratitude isn’t a blindly optimistic approach in which the difficult things in life are erased or ignored. Nor does it mean that for those of us that practice a life of gratitude that we don’t have struggles also. It’s more a matter of where we put our focus and attention. Yes, pain and injustice and cruelty exist in the world. But when we focus on the gifts of life, we naturally gain a feeling of positive well-being. We often feel more energized to put into place practices of self-care and have healthy relationships with people we love. We are more inclined to reach out and help others and we feel we have some power to positively affect our world. This again leads to a feeling of well-being…and gratitude.
The past few days, I have taken the time to remember what I have to be grateful for. I am grateful that after 6 weeks of unemployment, I have had several great conversations and interviews. I am grateful that I was able to pay my bills this month. I am grateful that I have a wonderful roof over my head and a very comfortable place to sleep at night. I am grateful for God fearing friends that speak truth to my heart. I am grateful for my family. I am grateful that I woke up this morning and that the sun is shining. I am grateful for my beautiful daughter that is finding her own way in this world. I am grateful for the prospect of loving relationships.
I will end in a place of gratitude by saying that NOTHING is more appealing in this world than a simple touch, humble truths or gesture from another person; one that lets us know that they care. We may think becoming successful and having many things will be gratifying, but more importantly it is through our grace and kindness to one another that actually gives us the ability to become more powerful than ever before and be in a place of gratitude even in times of crisis.
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Nice piece!
ReplyDeleteI always say "It is impossible to be discontent while feeling gratitude". :)
Well written and well received. My Mother at 86 years of age and after the loss of my Father to whom she was married to for 62 years says that ' gratitude is the secret to life'. It appears you two have something in common.
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